OCALA, Fla. – John Travolta has agreed to fund and oversee the abandoned F-35 Joint Strike Fighter program.
In a move led by the Tea Party delegation, the House of Representatives voted today to cut funding for the heavily-criticized alternative engine program and accept Travolta’s offer.
Travolta made an appearance and short speech before the vote this morning.
“The Defense Department doesn’t have a place in the budget for these jets. At my compound in central Florida, I will enlist a top-notch crew based in Clearwater to research and develop the F-35 engines. I pledge to fully support the program and see it through to completion.”
Defense Secretary Robert Gates estimated cutting the program would save the government over $3 billion, and cost Travolta over $4 billion to keep it going.
Gates explained, “It’s an infrastructure issue. He’s got to move the engines from the GE-Rolls Royce operation in Ohio down to the Travolta Family Airport in Florida. That’s a lot of trucks heading down I-75.”
A request to re-paint all of the F-35 jets “scientology blue” was included in Travolta’s proposal. The jets are currently the standard military-issue gray.
What The F*@k! Scientology has its own color Blue! How do I get my own color? And where is John getting 4 billion? Aliens? If thats the case sign me up I want to be a Scientology freak! Then I'll open my door to Mormons and learn about Joseph Smith!