WASHINGTON – President Obama has finally quit smoking!   But now he’s drinking like a fish.
First Lady Michelle Obama said President Obama finally kicked his smoking habit and has not had a puff for about a year.
She revealed that during a lunch interview with ten print reporters who cover the East Wing. The meeting was organized to mark the first anniversary Wednesday of her “Let’s Move” anti-childhood obesity campaign.
Michelle Obama also revealed on “Live with Regis and Kelly” that the reason the President stopped smoking was because she the First Lady is pregnant with their third child. “I told Barack, that if he’s still smoking when our baby is born in July, I am leaving him.  That gave him the “push” he needed to kick the habit.”
When asked by reporters if the President had given up smoking for good, Mrs. Obama’s said, “Yes he has, yes he has. Very proud,” she added. “Totally.”
In 2007, Mrs. Obama made her husband promise to quit smoking as a condition to getting her support for his presidential bid.   She supported him, he won the election and… he kept smoking like a chimney.

“It’s been almost a year,” Mrs. Obama said of Obama’s last smoke. “But I don’t know exactly when because he never smoked a lot to begin with, so I never saw him smoke.” For those who want to know more about his smoking habit, “You have to talk to him.”
Unfortunately, both Mrs. Obama and White House staff that the President has started drinking more.  “He has at least 6-12 beers a day.  Guy drinks like a fish,”  said John Rosshirt, an Assistant to White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs.
“If he’s not drowing himself in coffee, he’s at the bar in the East Wing throwing back a few pints of Budweiser,” said Sally Jackson, Michelle Obama’s Chief of Staff.

White House Staff are beginning to grow concerned.  “He usually stumbles upstairs at the midnight,” said new White House Chief of Staff, Richard Daley.  “We have to put a stop to it.”
After Obama’s interview with Bill O’Reilly, which aired on Super Bowl sunday, Obama reportedly drank two six-packs.  “Can you blame him?  A blowhard like O’Reilly in his face for an hour, who wouldn’t drink?” said Vice President Joe Biden.
Asked whether he planned on having an intervention to get Barack to stop drinking, Daley said, “Yes, we are thinking of sending the President to rehab in the spring.  I think it’s something most Americans can relate to.”
Meanwhile, Michelle Obama keeps focused on her “healthy eating” initiatives.  “Even when Barack is drinking heavily, he eats well,” said the First Lady.

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  1. Obama possesses the true statesman within, he may be upset about big biz making things difficult for him to get his way, so he could be doing things wrong habitually for this reason, feeling worthless.

  2. You people are so ignorant for believing these articles. For one, Obama has drunk beer since as long as he's been in the media – it's nothing new, AND it's not like a twelve-pack a day. It's like one with dinner once or twice a week. Second, he never smoked. It doesn't take a genius to realize that the photos with Obama smoking a cigarette are obviously fake, hoax, photoshop. This is the most utterly asinine website ever created. These are not real news articles. I mean come on it's a blog people! And look at some of the other articles: Megan Fox is a MAN! (Everyone knows that trustworthy news sites capitalize an entire word), and Facebook will end March 15th. What is with you people?

    • ya this is a entertainment story to be taken with a grain of salt, but everyone knows Obama did smoke. He's admitted it himself. Do some more research on the topic if you don't believe it.

    • Obama is a sot. He was found passed out on the White House lobby floor last Tuesday, dressed in transvestite garb. Secret Service lads had to throw water on Barney Frank in order to get the two of them disconnected.

  3. Good information, thanks for posting that. I have bookmarked your site and will come back to see what else you have to say. Stopping smoking is so challenging for me that the more information I have the better: there are so many ideas and people to learn from. I am looking forward to coming back and learning some more to help make a difference to my ability to stop and my improve my life. thankyou David

  4. What the heck are you guys talking about. Where is the third child? WOW! I can not believe Obama is such a drunk. No wonder he does such a good job!!

  5. Howdy, There's no doubt that your web site could possibly be having internet browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in IE, it's
    got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
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  6. WOW and HOLY COW!!! If I didn’t know better – by which I mean, of course, that I didn’t know Barack Obama and Bat Boy are actually alien spies, which I do – I’d almost think this whole article was nothing more than satire, rather than the hard-hitting, ‘America wants to know’ journalism it pretends to be. Whew!
    First of all: Obama, as is the custom on all the planets in his home galaxy, smokes through his ears; so any pics of a cig in his mouth are obvious fakes.
    Secondly: drinking like a fish is a really smart way to quit smoking, since cigarettes almost never work under water.

    Hope this clears it all up.
    Donald J. Rump, worst ex-President of the west-side Newark 9-pin bowling league in history


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