MY AMERICA – GIVE ZELENSKY A GOOD KICK IN THE PANTS

I’m madder than a porcupine in a balloon factory over this Zelensky-Trump-Vance circus in the Oval Office last week!  That meeting got my blood pressure higher than a cat’s back in a dog pound. I’m talking about that so-called “meeting” between President Trump and that Ukrainian fella, Zelensky.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love our President Trump. He’s got more backbone than a stegosaurus and he tells it like it is. But let me tell you, inviting Zelensky to the White House was like inviting a vegetarian to a barbecue – it just don’t make no sense!

This Zelensky character has the the unmitigated gall to waltz into OUR Oval Office and act like we owe him something! I haven’t seen that much ingratitude since my nephew got socks for Christmas and threw a fit. It’s about time someone told him to show some dang appreciation! The least he could do was to get up and dance the Hopak. You know, that Cossack dance where they jump in the airs while doing a split.

YOU’RE WELCOME

First off, we’ve been sending billions – that’s BILLIONS with a ‘B’ – of our hard-earned American buckolas to Ukraine. And for what? So Zelensky can strut around in his fancy olive-green t-shirts and commando boots? Adam Sandler dressed better than him at the Oscars! Meanwhile, we’ve got potholes deeper than the Mariana Trench right here in the good ol’ US of A!

Folks, I’ve seen some wild political stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake, eats it, and throws the crumbs in your face. If you missed it, let me break it down for you: Trump, Zelensky, and J.D. Vance turned the Oval Office into a three-ring shouting match that made WrestleMania look like a church picnic!

I admit. J.D. Vance got a little too excited. The man’s supposed to be Vice President, which means he should be cutting ribbons at Iowa bake sales or smoking cigars with drunk Senators. Every time Zelensky opened his mouth, there was Vance jumping in like a yappy little dog barking “Say thank you!” over and over. I haven’t seen someone demand gratitude this hard since my Aunt Edna knitted me that itchy Christmas sweater and wouldn’t shut up until I wore it to church.

THE WAR ROOM

Let’s talk about this “World War III” business. Trump hit the nail on the head harder than a jackhammer on concrete when he said Zelensky’s pushing us to the brink. We’ve got our own problems to deal with – inflation higher than a giraffe’s ears, illegal immigrants pouring in faster than water through a sieve, and gas prices that’ll make your eyes water. The last thing we need is to get dragged into some European kerfuffle!

Now, I know some folks are saying Trump shouldn’t have let the cameras roll. But I say hogwash! It’s high time the American people saw what’s really going on behind those fancy White House doors. This ain’t no reality TV show, this is real life, and Trump’s showing us the unvarnished truth. That’s more than you can say for most politicians who’d rather butter you up than serve you the facts on a platter.

So poor Zelensky had to cut his trip short after this fiasco! He flew off to London faster than you can say “awkward exit,” probably hoping King Charles would offer him tea and sympathy instead of another lecture.

So here’s the bottom line, folks: It’s time we start putting America First again. We need to focus on our own backyard before we go mowing someone else’s lawn. And if that means giving Zelensky and his crew a piece of our mind, well then, pass me the megaphone!

Remember, you heard it here first from ol’ Ed Anger. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cool off with a nice, cold American beer. None of that fancy Ukrainian vodka for me, thank you very much!