He’s No Longer “the BEST Golfer Ever“
He had 11 Holes-in-One In His First Round and Still Lost!
Three weeks ago, Ginnie-Su Kim, North Korea’s only female professional golfer witnessed Kim Jong-un’s remarkable first round of golf. He scored an unbelievable 11 Aces! Some of the best golfers in the world play for decades and never even have one ‘hole-in-one’.
“I would love to watch him play! He’s literally a divine being” Tiger Woods told Weekly World News. “I’m sure I could learn a lot from him.”
The following week, the Supreme Leader invited Ms. Kim to play. She actually beat him by 33 strokes. “His game completely fell apart,” she said through an interpreter. “It’s like he became mortal again. He was slicing and hooking and definitely was cheating.”
After her victory at the last hole, the military took Ms. Kim away in handcuffs. She was not seen again for months. When she finally appeared, she was missing her left arm.
Weekly World News has been investigating to see if there was any foul play involved. Apparently, the dictator was so upset about losing that he ordered her left arm to be removed.
“After numerous phone calls to the North Korean government officials, we finally heard back from a fast-talking, hysterical Korean man. We don’t speak Korean so we have no idea what he was saying,” reported Weekly World News Foreign Affairs correspondent. “But he probably was worried about his own arms.”
SHE BEAT HIM AGAIN!
Ms. Kim is extremely competitive. She started practicing with one arm. Soon she developed an incredible one-arm technique that allowed her to play at an even higher level than before.
“I didn’t realize that my left arm was actually negatively affecting my swing, now everything is much more fluid and easy . . . less moving parts ya know?”
She was determined to play Kim Jong Un again and sent him a message stating that she is not a quitter. They played a round. Even with one arm, she bested him again. He was not happy – not at all. After the 18th and final hole Ms. Kim into the woods and disappeared – successfully evading North Korean authorities.
Weekly World News finally found her in Brazil where she is enjoying life as a pole dancer under an assumed name.
“I can’t prove that he had ordered my arm cut off. All I remember was that he was real mad. And then one morning I went to brush my teeth and my arm was missing.”
Weekly World News can confirm that Ms. Kim excels as a pole dancer as well. She’s a gifted woman.
Meanwhile, Kim Jong-in intends to play in the Masters this weekend in Augusta, GA. According to government officials, he plans on just showing up for the final round on Sunday.