AND THEY BOTH ACCEPT!
Weekly World News has learned that Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz has been engaged in a Twitter war with The Incredible Hulk. Apparently, the whole kerfuffle began in the wake of President Donald Trump’s crash and burn in Tulsa, when The Hulk tweeted. “Him white dopey.”
For reasons known only to Ted Cruz and several of his care-givers, the Senator allegedly tweeted a reply: “Do you think you’re so hot because you’re green? You think you can beat White Dopey?”
Hulk tweeted back. “Bring it on.”
Cruz supposedly boasted. “Put your money where you mouth is.”
Hulk replied. “Tastes funny.”
Cruz was on a roll. “How about you two fight and the prize of $50,000 will go to the winner’s favorite charity.”
“One million dollars,” Hulk answered.
“Done!” Cruz supposedly enthused.
Word of the agreement spread through Washington, D.C. like wildfire. Apparently, the last one to find out about it was the President himself. According to unnamed sources, some taken to the Emergency Room, the President threw a fit that was actually seen from space. He was hosed down after the event and the 18th century chair he gnawed to a stub was taken away. He supposedly summoned Cruz, at that point.
By the time Cruz arrived, the President had been blow-dried and fluffed and was at his most cordial. Then, he abruptly exploded, the force of his wrath blowing off Cruz’s newly-grown muttonchops.
IT COULD BE THE BIGGEST GATHERING IN THE PRESIDENT’S HISTORY
According to a witness hiding under a sofa, Cruz then talked-up the match. It could be the biggest gathering in the President’s history. Of course, his critics would say that he was debasing the office, but that would only help the publicity. Not only will he get all of his solid fans to show up but also he’ll get the “elitist, power-worshipping, sci-fi hep cats.” If the President can syphon off some of The Incredible Hulk’s fan base, he’ll be good as gold this November.
“And this can be pay-for-view around the globe…” Cruz enthused.
“Globe?”
“Across the flat Earth,” Cruz replied.
“Can he kill me?” the President asked. “The Incredible Hulk?’
“Not with the Secret Service there!” Cruz supposedly cackled.
The President mulled the idea.
“How big can the stadium be, how fast can we get it and how much should we charge for tickets!”
Weekly World News will stay on the case…we also might open a concession stand.
