DOLPHIN WITH HUMAN ARMS CAPTURED!

TOKYO – Fishermen on their annual dolphin hunt captured a dolphin that had human arms!

Japanese broadcaster TBX said the first hunt of the season took place in the town of Taiji on Tuesday. Local citizens celebrate the dolphin hunt, which is an annual tradition.

The fishermen are from a Japanese town that was once made famous by the controversial Oscar-winning documentary “The Cove.” While their dolphin hunt was going on there were animal rights activists protesting the hunt. But they shrugged off the protests.

When the fishermen examined the first dolphins brought in, they were shocked. One of the dolphins had human arms!

In total, fourteen dolphins were killed, but another six (mothers and calves) were spared.  The fishermen did not tell reporters if the dolphin with human arms (nicknamed Ginsu) was killed.

ACTIVISTS TO THE RESCUE?

After they discovered the truth about Ginsu, activists chanted, “Mama dolphin, baby dolphin. No!” Actually, the activists were the first to notice Ginsu because he started clapping along to the chant – using his human hands.

“It was incredible.  The Japanese fishermen pulled Luka into the boat and he punched a few of them with his human fist,”  said Rainbow Williams, an activist from San Francisco.  “Ginsu has a strong punch and I think he knocked out two or three fishermen with his punches.”

It became something of a brawl between the quick-jabbing dolphin and the Japanese fishermen.  But they eventually threw a net over Ginsu’s head and subdued him with a tranquilizing dart.

Activists made a move to save Ginsu, but the Japanese fishermen scared them off. The fishermen fired gunshots over their heads.

What will the Japanese fisherman do with Ginsu?

“We will be bringing Ginsu to a marine biology research center in Osaka.  We will keep him safe and study him there.”

“Bullshit!!  They are going to kill him,” said Williams.  “We need to free Ginsu.  Free Ginsu!  Free Ginsu!”  There are hundreds of protesters outside the research facility waiting for the Japanese to release Ginsu – but it doesn’t seem like it will be happening anytime soon.

Japan has officially endorsed the killing of dolphins. They do so because the practice is not banned under any international treaty. The Japanese fishermen told Weekly World News that dolphins are not an endangered species. They feel that the dolphins need to be culled in order to protect their fishing grounds.

Free Ginsu!!!