Director Martin Scorsese, currently winning accolades for the 50-year-de-aging process featured in his Nextflix film, “The Irishman,” has announced his next project: The Little Rascals.

“What people forget about The Little Rascals is that their adventures took place during the Great Depression,” says Scorsese. “Surrounded by poverty, existential despair and old ladies being evicted from their homes by bankers with mustaches, these kids had to act like adults, stifling their childish wants and needs in order to survive. I mean, who could play these child-adults better than adults? As soon as I pitched this to Bob, Al and, Joe, they were in.”

DeNiro, Scorsese, and Pacino discussing
The Little Rascals

Although the script is still top secret, the casting is not. De Niro will play Spanky, the unofficial “leader” of the group with Pacino lending his talents to the role of the brooding Alfalfa, a would-be crooner seeking the love of Darla (Meryl Streep). Joe Pesci will get to stretch his acting muscles as Butch, both the protector of the Rascals and, at times, the most rebellious of the group. (“He picks his boogers and flings them!” Scorsese enthused.)

Pesci was originally going to play Spanky,
but DeNiro fought for the plum role

“We know we can handle de-aging,” explained Scorsese, “but our biggest challenge, now, will be the shrinkage. We don’t want the Rascals to look like freaky midgets. We want to make them look like real kids. Fortunately, we have wonderful actors. Once you put them in short pants and feed them a lot of sugar? It’s amazing.”

When it was pointed out to Scorsese that nobody uses the word “midget,” anymore, he smiled and said, “Get the Hell out of my office.”

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