“I CAN’T BELIEVE OUR BAD LUCK,” SAYS PRODUCER OF BROADWAY-BOUND ‘BOOK OF JOB.’
The Hyman Group has announced that the long-awaited “The Book of Job- The Musical” will not be debuting on Broadway next month as planned. They’ve pulled the plug on the project.
“I can’t believe our bad luck,” said producer Dick Hyman. “Things started badly from day one when a pigeon crapped in composer Elton LaBouf’s eyes. The initial orchestral rehearsal sounded like a sixteen-car collision. You know, an icy road ‘ka-boom, kaboom, kaboom’ deal with a lot of screaming…but with a string section involved.”
Would-be Broadway “find,” Chaz Lazarro, had to bow out of the role of Job after he came down with leprosy. “The poor kid looked like a lizard,” Hyman sighed. “Replacement Chuck Hurley was hit by lightning. Twice. Inside the theater.”
Hyman finally called it quits, yesterday, when the rest of the cast, after taking a lunch break, was hit by a bus.
“I haven’t seen such carnage since Richard Burton and Liz Taylor toured with ‘Private Lives.’” said Hyman. “The odds just seemed to be against us.”
The Hyman Group still has plans for Broadway 2020, however. “We’re working on a really upbeat musical,” said Dick. “It’s called ‘The Anne Frank Rainy Day Indoor Songbook.’ Something for the kids.”
