They’ve had enough with boomers and the way they have ruined everything for the generations that follow them. In another effort to simplify life, millennials have decided that Thanksgiving is another tradition that has to go!

There has been a serious conflict between the generations ever since the Stone Age, but nothing like the clash going on today. Millennials (born between 1980 and 1994) are tired of baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) whining about all the things they are supposedly destroying. And boomers are sick of millennials and their seemingly entitled ways.

Typical baby boomer reacting to his millennial son


This has become a popular phrase for millennials who dislike the outdated, judgmental and condescending attitude that they perceive most boomers have. It’s a fun way for them to mock the older generation!

So why do millennials hate Thanksgiving? Prior generations had to put up with Thanksgiving questions about work, love, and politics at the dinner table. But millennials don’t seem to have the patience to deal with family in this way. They’d much rather have a “Friendsgiving” – a celebration with their peers – than with parents or family.

“Parents can be so dull, boring and annoying. My friends are my real family,” said Sara Topper, a 27-year-old, who is spending the holiday in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn with her ten closest friends. “And who wants to spend time in a kitchen. Bor-ing!,” Sara told Weekly World News. “We work too hard. Why do we have to do all that work in the kitchen on our day off? Boomers can kill themselves with all that stuff.”

Typical millennials celebrating Friendsgiving

Baby boomers think that millennials are lazy, impatient and naive. They feel they are destroying essential parts of our culture. Boomers feel that millennials are an instant-gratification generation and are just not willing to build a life “the right way.” However, boomers have been unable to come up with a catchy slogan to mock millennials. “We need an ‘OK Boomer’ thing to say to them,” said Lloyd Linman, a 67-year-old retired accountant. “Anybody have any ideas?”

Who is right?

It doesn’t matter. Millennials are done with Thanksgiving. “Let the boomers waste their day. We’re gonna go get some food at our Gluten-Free truck, then go watch Netflix,” said Mac Bruton (28). “What better way to spend your day off?”

The good news for Boomers is that they get to spend Thanksgiving Day complaining about millennials without them being at the table. “It’s going to be a blast. The millennials would just be sitting on the couch and staring at their phones. They won’t be missed,” said Monica Walthery. “My five kids will be spread out across the city with their friend groups. That’s fine with me. But don’t ask me for any more money!”

Will millennials consider going back to the old traditions of Thanksgiving next year or in the future? “Not a chance,” said Bruton. “Some things just need to die. And it’s not a turkey.”

No matter what generation Weekly World News was speaking to, they all wished us a Happy Thanksgiving!

That’s not nothing.

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