LOS ANGELES, CA – Tom DeLay has made it through the first week of Dancing with the Stars. He promised the GOP to begin using interpretive dance to protest universal healthcare.
Surprising many, Tom DeLay did very well on Dancing with the Stars this week. The former Congressman competed with a Cha Cha to the tune Wild Thing. Inside sources reveal that DeLay plans to use his future time on screen to express his feelings about universal healthcare, and other Obama issues, through his preferred medium: interpretive dance.
Former Majority Leader DeLay trained in modern and interpretive dance with the Martha Graham studio throughout the 90’s. Known as “The Hammer” in Washington, DeLay was also known for bringing a visceral passion to his conservatively inspired dance. Inside sources close to DeLay say he is planning a 5 minute piece done to Phillip Glass about the downfalls of Obamacare.
An anonymous source who wished to only be identified as “Not Bobby Jindal” said, “This could be a great moment, where we use the power of the Mainstream Media against itself by promoting a Conservative perspective.” When asked if Americans would be willing or able to decipher DeLay’s interpretive dance, he said, “We can only pray.” Quickly adding, “To Jesus! Like real Americans.” Mitt Romney said, “I know nothing of this conspiracy. Dancing is the work of the Devil!”