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HOLLY MADISON MARRIES HER FERRET


LAS VEGAS – Holly Madison, star of Peepshow and Holly’s World, went to City Hall in Las Vegas today and married her ferret Sid.

Playboy Playmate Holly first met Sid at The Lide Animal Foundation. “I went down there to adopt a pet, and I fell in love. Not just that regular ole pet love, or Hef love, but love-love. I adore Sid.”  She currently stars in her own reality show, Holly’s World, which revolves around her life at Planet Hollywood  in Las Vegas. Holly said the show will be renamed Holly & Sid’s World.

Holly is ecstatic about her marriage, “I’m super-duper excited because Sid loves me unconditionally, and he doesn’t talk too much.”

When Holly was a teenager growing up in Astoria, Oregon, she wasn’t popular at all, and often went down to the local Collins Pet Store to steal fish food and stare at the ferrets.  “I must have been a ferret in another life, because I could just look at them and know what they were thinking and they could look at me and know what I was thinking. And we were just thinking together. Mostly about black lipstick.”.

Mayor Oscar B. Goodman officiated at the City Hall wedding. “Some people might think it odd that a beautiful woman would marry a ferret, but as  Woody Allen once said, ‘the heart wants what it wants’ and Las Vegas is open to all kinds of civil unions. Come visit, bring your life savings!”

Even though Holly’s marriage to the ferret is recognized in Nevada, she is worried that when she travels to other states her marriage will not be recognized. “That’s why I’m pushing for a new national law to make marriage legal between any two human beings.” When WWN explained to Holly that the ferret wasn’t a “human being” she looked at a nearby refrigerator and said, “Do I have a zit?”

Elvis Presley sang at the wedding. He modified the lyrics to “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” to  “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with a Sexually Dimorphic Predator.”  Holly’s co-stars from the hit reality show, “Girls Next Door,” Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt, were both in attendance at the wedding. Hugh Hefner couldn’t attend, but there was a cardboard cutout of Hef placed in the corner. The guests couldn’t tell the difference.

Holly and Sid had a reception at the Sugar Factory where all the guests wore her personally designed Candy Necklaces. Sid gnawed off the guests’ necklaces after the cake was cut. The couple danced up a storm, though there was a scary moment when one of Holly’s heels almost impaled Sid. Luckily, he’s quick on his feet.

The couple is honeymooning on a prairie in South Dakota.

For all you ferrets out there, here’s Holly in her wedding dress:

And here’s her PETA “naked” video that Sid loves: