WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will host the first White House seder. Party organizers state, “Why is this night different from any other? ‘Cause it’s gonna be fierce!”
President Obama will make history yet again tonight as the first President to hold an official White House seder on tonight the second night of Passover. After a much publicized Easter celebration, plans for this seder were made at the last minute and announced only a few days ago.
The President wishes to reaffirm to Americans and the international community that all faiths will be respected by an Obama White House.
A team of Rabbis, Jewish Scholars, and Project Runway winner Christian Siriano were brought in to design the event.
At the beginning of the service a plate of traditional and symbolic foods will be at the head of the table. Fresh organic horseradish root will provide the bitter herbs symbolizing the bitterness of slavery, handmade adzuki paste will symbolize the mortar slaves worked with, along with three matzos symbolizing “slaves bread” made by Mario Battali and each costing $400.
To represent the tears of the Jewish slaves, there will be glasses of actual tears collected in Jerusalem from widows watching Yentl.
The Haggedah, the story of the Jewish exodus from slavery, will be read aloud by the President while behind him it is projected on a screen in a CGI animation designed by George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic studio and presented in 3-D. All necessary 3-D glasses have been blessed by a Rabbi and deemed kosher.
As part of the ceremony participants each receive four cups of wine. Tonight, White House guests will receive Manischewitz Black Label: a triple-distilled triple-blessed top shelf wine made by specially trained Rabbis in the Holy Land.
For added effect, a 4 square foot section of the Wailing Wall has been brought in from Israel. Guests will pour small amounts of Manischewitz at its base in remembrance of those who have died along the way, while the Washington Men’s choir sings a Hebrew translation of the Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony song Crossroads.
At the request of visiting Israeli dignitaries, during the more festive Passover songs President Obama will show off his famous Pop ‘n Lock skills.