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I’m pig biting mad about Teddy Kennedy getting knighted by the Queen! Can you believe it? Now we’ll have to call that bloated old fraud “Sir”! “Sir Slab of Lard,” maybe.

I guess it’s because, just like King Arthur, Teddy’s got a lady in the lake! But this takes that Camelot crap a bridge too far. We fought the Red Coats to get rid of all that royal mumbo jumbo. Did we teabag our harbor in vain, America?

Why’s Teddy getting knighted anyhow? They say because he helped get peace in Northern Ireland. Maybe he threatened take away their beads and statues so they couldn’t pray to the Pope anymore.

For a bunch of people who die so much, the Kennedys just won’t go away.

Crazy Teddy! When he has to bow to the Queen, he’ll think it’s part of the sobriety test! And when she hits Teddy with her sword, it’s gonna look like she’s hitting a piñata!

To be fair, thought, some our right-wingers need their heads examined too:

Some TV interviewer told our head guy Michael Steele he thought the GOP Convention looked like a Hitler rally, and Steele just nodded. What?!

First off: McCain couldn’t do that funny salute if he wanted to.
Second off: Hitler hated cowboy songs.
Third off: we’ve got the neo-cons and the Logjam Republicans, and I doubt there were many Jews and fairies at Nuremberg. (OK, I’ll grant you the fairies – they like those outfits…)

That Michael Steele needs to go back to making radios for Colonel Hogan or they’re never gonna get outta there!