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I’m madder than a reporter with an empty whiskey bottle! So now the Communist in Chief says he might bail out the newspapers!

It’s bad enough the government owns the car companies and the banks. But now the Feds want to buy out the newspapers, too – with our money, that is!

Oh wait: the newspapers ALREADY work for Obama, so what difference will it make?

Instead of a handful of people paying a buck for the paper, now we’ll all have to fork over a few billion instead — and still not read the stupid thing.

I hear that buying one share of stock in the New York Times now costs you less than a copy of their actual paper!

Now that I’ve got this computer machine, I don’t get a paper anymore.
Everything in the paper is stuff I already know from the intertubes, or else its just a bunch of lies and whining about – how nobody reads their newspapers any more.

It’s just like the crappy cars Detroit kept making that nobody bought, all these crappy newspapers kept printing junk and now they wonder why they’re going out of business.

Newspapers lectured us for years that cutting down trees to make paper then throwing the paper away was bad. So we listened to them! And now they’re mad!

Newspapers told us for years how smart and educated they are, and how their ideas about how to run the country were so great and who we should vote for. But they couldn’t figure out how to run their own business and we should still listen to them?

Some of us worked for car factories, and all of us used banks — but Americans HATE newspapers! If the Teleprompter Kid bails them out, it’ll make the tea parties look like tea parties!