LONG ISLAND – Yesterday an explosion rocked the Plum Island Animal Disease Center. The cause of the explosion is unknown, but it was heard as far as North Hampton. Shortly thereafter the eastern shore of Long Island was overrun with giant mutated monsters.
Plum Island is located just off the north-east coast of Long Island, NY. During the Cold War, the Disease Center was used as a biological warfare research facility. Some claim many well known diseases, such as Lyme disease, were created in the facility’s infamous Building 257. Officially the Center now studies foreign animal diseases to protect American livestock. However, it has long been suspected of conducting unorthodox experiments which create monsters.
Shortly after yesterday’s explosion mutated monsters appeared on Long Island’s southern coast, causing chaos among New York’s most affluent. Having just started their four-day weekend, Long Islanders were thrown into a panic when giant squids and indescribable hybrid creatures started crawling onto shore.
Brunch goers in across the island dropped their mimosas in shock when the creatures struck. Pottery Barn was thrown into anarchy when it was attacked by a giant monster. Hysterical men in polo shirts took to the streets to running away from a six armed gopher that invaded the golf course. Women ran half naked from a tanning salon when giant iguanas were attracted to the heat. Frightened trust-fund children fled the beach upon the arrival of a giant squid with a swarthy moustache. Eight Eyed spider-monkeys took over the local Gymboree. The Montauk lighthouse suffered severe structural damage after being humped by a 30 ft. tall Shar Pei.
Government forces are currently containing the disaster; collecting the creatures and suppressing coverage by the press. The Plum Island Animal Disease Center is expected to continue its research soon.