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WALL STREET PLANS COUNTERATTACK


NEW YORK, NY –  Wall Street executives, bankers and traders are planning a major counter-offensive against Occupy Wall Street protesters!

WWN has learned from sources close to insiders at Goldman Sachs and other investment houses that “Wall Street” is planning a major counter-offensive against the Occupy Wall Street protestors.

They are calling their offensive – Occupy Main Street.  And this is their symbol:

Watch out, America!!

Wall Street is going to send brokers, traders, stock analysts, hedge fund mangers out this weekend in six major suburban cities for Occupy Main Street protests.

“We’ll be in out with our gold-plated placards, blocking entrances to grocery stories, gas stations and coffee shops. We will not let these Occupy Wall Street punks push us around any longer,” said Goldman Sachs investment banker, Steve Lussier.

The first six cities targeted for the Occupy Main Street protests are:

Alexandria, Virginia
Peoria, Illinois
Irvine, California
Selma, Alabama
Katy, Texas
Madison, Wisconsin
Akron, Ohio

The Occupy Main Street protesters will also pour onto the streets of major cities to directly face off with Occupy Wall Street protestors.

“Occupy Wall Street protesters are a bunch of wimps and losers.  We can take them in an afternoon,” said Melissa Condon of Morgan Stanley.

Wall Street executives have purchased water canons and fire hoses from the NYFD and plan to blow Occupy Wall Street protestors “all the way back to the trailer parks they crawled out of.”

The NYPD is worried that there may be a watery clash between the two groups this weekend and are assigning more cops to the area.

Meanwhile, Tim Geithner, the Treasury Secretary (and former Goldman Sachs executive) has reportedly said that he sides with both Occupy Wall Street AND Occupy Main Street.  “I like them both.  I think Wall Street sucks, but I want them to keep giving our administration more money than they have ever given any administration in the history of the world.”

Let the games begin!!