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RONALD MCDONALD GAY!


OAK BROOK, IL – James A. Skinner, CEO of McDonald’s, served up a whopper when he announced that Ronald McDonald is gay.

“I am thrilled to announce that Ronald McDonald, the Chief Happiness Officer of McDonald land, is a homosexual,” said Skinner to a group of about 100 reporters and journalists outside the company’s Illinois headquarters. “He always was and he always will be.”

In a post announcement interview with the Weekly World News, Skinner said that the decision to “out” Ronald McDonald as a homosexual was a difficult one, though he felt it needed to be done.

“Revealing Ronald’s secret was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do,” said Skinner. “It weighed on my conscience for years. But now that the secret is out I feel like I can move on.”

Willard Scott, best known for his work on NBC’s Today Show, first created the Ronald McDonald character in 1963 for a local television commercial on WRC-TV, a TV station in Washington, D.C.

Scott said he saw Ronald McDonald as gay from the very beginning.

“When I first conceived of the idea for Ronald McDonald, I knew he was going to be gay,” said Scott. “You have to remember, though, that was back in the sixties, so the company would never let me go public with his sexuality.”

“But this is a different era,” added Scott. “I think people are much more accepting of homosexuality, and it’s about time that Ronald McDonald is outed for who he really is.”

Fans of Ronald McDonald have shown overwhelming support for the character’s recent “coming out.”

“I always thought he had a very feminine quality about him,” said Rosie Knopff, 40, of Weedsport, NY. “The curly red hair, the make up, the shapely figure – yeah, he’s definitely gay. I don’t know how I missed it.”

Skinner said he doesn’t think Ronald’s sexuality will stop people from visiting the restaurant.

“I don’t think a true McDonald’s fan would care whether or not Ronald was gay,” he said. “This is the 21st century. People are much more open-minded.”

Skinner has yet to comment on the sexuality of Grimace, Birdie, or the Fry Kids, though next week he plans to announce that the Hamburglar is a confirmed child-molester.