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KILLER ROBOT WAITER


JINAN, China – A Robot Waiters in China has gone rogue – and is killing customers!

Dalu Robot Restaurant in Jinan, China, which opened earlier this month, has been priding itself in the fact that its wait staff has the utmost patience. That’s because it is comprised entirely of robots.

Over a dozen robots staff the restaurant. Some are entertainers, servers, greeters, receptionists. Occasionally the entertain-o-bots dance about the restaurant to the cantina song from Star Wars. Although the robotic waiters appear to have patience, it did not stop one from being a killer.

The serving staff moves around the restaurant in a circular pattern on a conveyor belt-style system serving the restaurant’s patrons. The robots were supposed to be designed to stop when someone or something is in its path allowing customers to reach for the dishes they want.

However, one robot decided that it had had enough of the monotonous circling about.  Not stopping, the enraged robot knocked over an elderly woman and in turn severed the left leg of the patron in its path.

The sharp edges of the bicycle wheel that lock into the track were no match for the old rotten flesh of the woman’s leg. As bad luck would have it, the robot severed the femoral artery just above the knee. Since the rest of the wait staff was not human and no one wanted to help the woman out of fear of liability, she bled to death on the floor of the hi-tech hot spot.

“It was terrible. I could not believe what was happening before my eyes. I thought robots were supposed to be our friends,” stated a restaurant patron.

Luckily a Chinese police officer happened to be on his beat just as the incident went down. In a heroic Kung Fu style show down the officer was able to disable the robot delivering a deadly blow to the groin region of the metal monster. With even greater luck, ace WWN photographer Boy Mack was there to capture the moment.

The robot has since been detained and is reportedly being sold to the Jawas, a native tribe that inhabits the Gobi Desert located in the north western region of China. The Jawas are known to specialize in resale and repair of robots and droids.