LAS VEGAS – In a new national trend, women across America are marrying themselves.
The Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas is reporting that women have been making arrangements to marry themselves in small ceremonies. Many other churches, synagogues and town halls across the country are also reporting that more and more women are showing up to… marry themselves.
“It’s too hard to find a man, a good man. Most of them are immature losers,” said Natalie Kim. “I wanted to get married, have a party and invite my friends. So I did.” Kim went on to say, “I felt pressure to settle down, and realized that I would never be able to love a man as much as I love myself.”
Kim also said that she was better in bed “by myself” than with any man she’d ever been with. “They don’t know how to satisfy me, like I do.” Kim, like many women, feel that men are becoming less necessary. Kim plans to start a family in about a year – “after I spend time getting to really know myself” – and she doesn’t need a man for that either. “I bought enough sperm last week, to have a hundred babies. But, I’ll probably just have two.”
Kim is planning on taking a solo honeymoon to Italy. “They have great bathtubs in Italy. I’ll be spending a lot of time with myself in those bathtubs,” she said with a coy smile.