RHINEBECK, NY – Chelsea Clinton’s wedding was crashed by celebrities, aliens and a dictator.
Chelsea Clinton’s lavish wedding to her longtime beau, Marc Mezvinsky was interrupted by several prominent wedding crashers who managed to get past the Secret Service.
Somehow Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn got into the wedding. “We didn’t even notice them, they just blended in,” said Agent Steve Barnes of the FBI. “They were dancing up a storm and Vaughn even gave a beautiful toast to the bride and groom.”
Ahmadinejad was recognized by Secret Service, but after patting him down and asking for his identification, the Secret Service determined that he wasn’t a threat. “Even though Marc is Jewish and Mahmoud wants to wipe Israel off the face of the earth, we really didn’t see any problem with letting him in. He does a wicked Macarena.”
Two aliens seemed to come and go as they pleased. They took full advantage of the open bar, but they were very disappointed to learn that Chelsea was a vegan. One of the aliens spoke to Frank Lake of WWN, who also crashed the wedding, and said “When we come down to earth we want to eat meat. What is this with all this vegan crap, and gluten-free stuff. What the hell is going on down here with food?”
Michael Jackson made a brief appearance, grabbed one of the guest’s baby and dangled it from the balcony of the beautiful estate. He sang a beautiful rendition of “Blood on the Dance Floor,” and then disappeared.
Kanye West was the most difficult of the wedding crashers. He was kicked out by the Secret Service but just when Chelsea was about to say her “I Do” to Marc, Kanye grabbed the microphone and told the guests that Beyonce would have been a better bride for Marc. “Nothing against you Chelsea girl, but Beyonce has a much better body.” Secret Service agents rushed over, grabbed Kanye and beat the auto-tune out of him.
No illegal immigrants were allowed into the wedding. When President Obama learned of this outrage, he vowed to sue Hillary, Bill, Chelsea, Marc, Rhinebeck, the State of New York and… the State of Arizona. “I hate that state,” Obama said.
President Obama gave Chelsea and Marc a Chevy Volt as a wedding gift (but they won’t be getting the government refund).
What did everyone wear? The bride wore a strapless Vera Wang dress, the groom wore a Christopher Bailey tux and Bill Clinton… went commando.
Here’s a couple more pictures of the crashers: