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LINDSAY LOHAN SENTENCED


BEVERLY HILLS, CA – Lindsay Lohan is the laughing stock of Hollywood and one judge has put her foot down!

Lindsay Lohan’s life, acting career and overall mental health is in pieces and there doesn’t seem to be a way to put it all back together again. Last week, she missed a court hearing because someone “stole her passport.” To add insult to injury, Lohan’s get out of jail free card finally expired as a judge issued a bench warrant for the party girl. Lohan finally graced a Beverly Hills courtroom with her presence this morning and the terms of her bail were formalized.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel, who actually postponed her own vacation to issue the punishment, made sure there was no wiggle room for the actress. As expected, Lohan was ordered to refrain from drugs and booze, ordered to be fitted with an ankle-accessorizing SCRAM device and ordered to undergo random drug testing at a very minimum of once per week.

The troubled actress, who remains free on $100,000 bail, must also attend all of her scheduled alcohol-education courses.

“I want the court to know that Ms. Lohan intends to comply,” said attorney Shawn Chapman Holley.

The comply is used very loosely however. In addition to requesting that Lohan be allowed to attend daily alcohol-ed classes rather than just weekly, Holley attempted to weasel her client out of the need for the SCRAM device.

“Ms. Lohan has a number of upcoming photo shoots as well as filming a movie in Texas … the SCRAM bracelet would interfere,” was Holley’s reasoning.

Judge Revel was not having it. In addition, she said that Lohan would have to submit her drug testing in Los Angeles – putting in serious jeopardy her Texas gig. Lohan has a pending July 6 probation-violation hearing. If she is found in violation, Lohan would most likely face some jail time.

Her nosedive is so sad, that she’s not even fun to mock anymore. At least these guys got a good jab in at the peak of her demise.