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ALIENS BACK SANTORUM

DETROIT, MI –  Aliens from Planet Zeeba are throwing their support behind Rick Santorum.
Rick Santorum stopped by the Ford Plant in Dearborn, Michigan yesterday and received a very pleasant surprise.  An alien representative from Planet Zeeba came to the stage and announced that they Zeebans will be backing Santorum in the Republican primary AND in the Presidential election of 2012.
Dr. Susan Begley from the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials was on hand to witness the “Zeeban Humanitarian Award for Humans” given to Santorum.
Dr. Begley told WWN that the Zeebans are “friendly” aliens.  “There has been an ongoing invasion of our planet since October of 2010.  The Zeeban have come to help and protect human beings, but the aliens from Planet Gootan are here to harm us – and the Zeebans are currently in a fierce battle with them for alien control of Earth.”
So,  how does Rick Santorum fit in with the Zeebans?
“The Zeebans feel that Rick Santorum has what it takes to lead the United States, and therefore, the whole planet.  The Zeebans are pro-family, pro-gun (but only laser guns for self protection) and anti-abortion (it’s illegal on Planet Zeeba to harm ANY lifeform),” Dr. Begley told WWN.  “They also believe don’t believe in marriage between two of the same alien genders. They think that it would ultimately lead to the end of a species.”

Santorum has been causing a stir the last few days because he said that the father of lies has his sights on what you think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on. A good, decent, powerful, influential country, the United States of America.”
The speech gained a lot of attention this week  – including from aliens of all stripes.

“If you were Satan, who would you attack?” the former U.S. senator asked the students. “There’s no one else to go after other than the United States, and that’s been the case, for now, almost 200 years.”
Santorum went on to explain how he thought the devil had attacked the United States in several areas: its foundations, academia, the Protestant Church and government.
“The Zeebans feel that The Gootans are also “satan” and want to help Santorum bring goodness and “zeeban-ness” to the United States.”
Santorum was happy to get the backing of the Zeebans.  “Someimes, I feel like an alien myself.  I respect the Zeebans and the values they hold and I support them in their support of me.”
The Zeebans have formed a super-pac, the Z-Pac, and they told Dr. Susan Begley (through an interpreter) that they hope to raise over $5 billion dollars (at least) for Rick Santorum.  “The Zeebans feel that President Obama is pro-Gootan, so they want to do everything they can to defeat him in November.”

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30 thoughts on “ALIENS BACK SANTORUM”

  1. How can Zeebans be pro gun if they dont believe in killing? How can they justify killing Gootans when on their homeworld killing is not allowed?

    Reply
    • You're not listening … It's illegal to take the life of anything "on Zeeban." Fortunately or unfortunately, we're not ON Zeeban.

  2. Think I've seen this same alien shaking the hand of Bill Clinton some time ago. He really gets around doesn't he? Suppose time will tell; but for sure the forces of good and evil are clearly at work. Perhaps it would not be a bad thing to be able to put a "face" and tangible expression to those forces. I await the outcome with baited breath.

    Reply
  3. "Pro-gun (but only laser guns for self protection)" because it's illegal to harm another, but in self-defense, that harm is justified.

    Reply
  4. I dont remember seeing that when I posted. Still, it seems hypocritical to cherish life only on their homeworld. What Id like to know is how they intend to raise money for a man they cant vote for.

    Reply
  5. I love how everyone thinks aliens will be antagonistic when they arrive. They came to Bill Clinton with open arms when he needed them most. Why can't the same thing be happening with Santorum?

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  6. We used to say the county was going to the dogs. Now we say its going to the aliens… especially if we elect a republican named Santorum

    Reply
  7. who else have seen the zeebans….. i dont even believe the story…. we say space craft and predicted it is the zeebans, uptill now, i didnt see them land…. anyway, are the zeebans working on earth? where will they get the money? and how? will they pay him with their currency?

    Reply
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    Reply
  9. Sound like a ‘Cock & Bull’ story to me.
    Was the event covered in videos?
    If the Zeebans actually exists and are powerful, why have they not crushed the Al-Quiedas and Boko Harams of this world?
    The only proof I want is: hey Zeebans come to Nigeria and wipe out these blood thirsty demons called Boko Haram.

    Reply
  10. I support their supporting me
    – rick santorum
    why would thay meddle in human affairs like?in america? They are the real ones wanting to control the earth, as is evident in their siding with republicans

    Reply
  11. The truth is aliens from Planet Zeeba are deceptors and full of lies(Satan). In fact, what we have known Planet Gootan as enemies are here to help us and destroy all evil and cause harm to our planet Earth.
    All i can tell you, the extra-dimensional or extraterrestrial beings from Planet Gootan are highly intelligent than aliens Planet Zeeba which i believe they are Alien Reptialians and Alien Greys(slave of reptialians).
    Time will come, Planet Gootan will destroy all bad and evil stuff includes deceptors, earth-killers and eventually will destroy aliens from Planet Zeeba.

    Reply
  12. ”They also believe don’t believe in marriage between two of the same alien genders. They think that it would ultimately lead to the end of a species.” Well then — for an advanced extraterrestrial civilisation, with advanced technology, a greater understanding of chemistry, biology and physics than we humans … it would seem as if they are more interested in earth's politics and swinging votes in the right direction, than understanding straight forward DNA and Molecular Genetics. If they were indeed so clever, they would have known that marriage between the same gender of the same species is not a choice, but born into that individual by means of an activated gene, a gene that every person has. With some people, that specific gene has been activated, with other people it hasn't. Medical scientists are currently busy with detailed research as to why this occurs and what influences this 'activation'. But for a race or a species as advanced as the Zeebans – they surely would have grasped that basic concept of the genetic functionality of the species. Unfortunately, it seems as if human geneticists are a bit more advanced in their research regarding this than the Zeebans. Human geneticists are interested in the truth – not in swinging votes. Maybe we humans can teach the Zeebans a thing or two … Hmm – like understanding their genome and staying out of politics of other planets?

    Reply

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