ALIENS BACK SANTORUM

DETROIT, MI –  Aliens from Planet Zeeba are throwing their support behind Rick Santorum.
Rick Santorum stopped by the Ford Plant in Dearborn, Michigan yesterday and received a very pleasant surprise.  An alien representative from Planet Zeeba came to the stage and announced that they Zeebans will be backing Santorum in the Republican primary AND in the Presidential election of 2012.
Dr. Susan Begley from the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials was on hand to witness the “Zeeban Humanitarian Award for Humans” given to Santorum.
Dr. Begley told WWN that the Zeebans are “friendly” aliens.  “There has been an ongoing invasion of our planet since October of 2010.  The Zeeban have come to help and protect human beings, but the aliens from Planet Gootan are here to harm us – and the Zeebans are currently in a fierce battle with them for alien control of Earth.”
So,  how does Rick Santorum fit in with the Zeebans?
“The Zeebans feel that Rick Santorum has what it takes to lead the United States, and therefore, the whole planet.  The Zeebans are pro-family, pro-gun (but only laser guns for self protection) and anti-abortion (it’s illegal on Planet Zeeba to harm ANY lifeform),” Dr. Begley told WWN.  “They also believe don’t believe in marriage between two of the same alien genders. They think that it would ultimately lead to the end of a species.”

Santorum has been causing a stir the last few days because he said that the father of lies has his sights on what you think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on. A good, decent, powerful, influential country, the United States of America.”
The speech gained a lot of attention this week  – including from aliens of all stripes.

“If you were Satan, who would you attack?” the former U.S. senator asked the students. “There’s no one else to go after other than the United States, and that’s been the case, for now, almost 200 years.”
Santorum went on to explain how he thought the devil had attacked the United States in several areas: its foundations, academia, the Protestant Church and government.
“The Zeebans feel that The Gootans are also “satan” and want to help Santorum bring goodness and “zeeban-ness” to the United States.”
Santorum was happy to get the backing of the Zeebans.  “Someimes, I feel like an alien myself.  I respect the Zeebans and the values they hold and I support them in their support of me.”
The Zeebans have formed a super-pac, the Z-Pac, and they told Dr. Susan Begley (through an interpreter) that they hope to raise over $5 billion dollars (at least) for Rick Santorum.  “The Zeebans feel that President Obama is pro-Gootan, so they want to do everything they can to defeat him in November.”

33 thoughts on “ALIENS BACK SANTORUM”

  1. ”They also believe don’t believe in marriage between two of the same alien genders. They think that it would ultimately lead to the end of a species.” Well then — for an advanced extraterrestrial civilisation, with advanced technology, a greater understanding of chemistry, biology and physics than we humans … it would seem as if they are more interested in earth's politics and swinging votes in the right direction, than understanding straight forward DNA and Molecular Genetics. If they were indeed so clever, they would have known that marriage between the same gender of the same species is not a choice, but born into that individual by means of an activated gene, a gene that every person has. With some people, that specific gene has been activated, with other people it hasn't. Medical scientists are currently busy with detailed research as to why this occurs and what influences this 'activation'. But for a race or a species as advanced as the Zeebans – they surely would have grasped that basic concept of the genetic functionality of the species. Unfortunately, it seems as if human geneticists are a bit more advanced in their research regarding this than the Zeebans. Human geneticists are interested in the truth – not in swinging votes. Maybe we humans can teach the Zeebans a thing or two … Hmm – like understanding their genome and staying out of politics of other planets?

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