BEAVERS BUILD DAM FROM RANSACKED REMAINS!

MACABRE MANITOBA BEAVERS TURN GRAVE ROBBERS A tip from Canadian buckwheat farmer Bertie Gourdeau led Weekly World News to a grisly discovery. It is at the edge of his sprawling property: a 200-meter-long beaver dam made entirely from human bones.  Countless skulls, femurs, ribs, limbs with grasping hands still intact, and even artificial hips were … READ MORE

AIRLINES TO OFFER OUTDOOR SEATING?!

I’LL HAVE A WING, PLEASE! As the country struggles to get back to work post-pandemic, industries are learning to cope by adapting. Service industries are promoting new cleaning practices. Retail stores are limiting attendance. And restaurants are welcoming diners back, but not allowing them inside—rather, there’s a resurgence of outdoor dining, with sidewalk tables set up under … READ MORE

NY TIMES REPORTER EATEN ALIVE BY 80-FT. DINOSAUR!

“He was on assignment in Yunnan Province, China.” American scientists captured an 80-foot dinosaur in the jungles of Yunnan. This was after it killed and ate NY Times Reporter Ayman Bishara in what is believed to be man’s first encounter with a prehistoric life-form! That’s the word from Dr. Bo Goodlatt, who says that the … READ MORE

EASTER BUNNY UNION CANCELS EASTER DELIVERIES!

“We tried using facemasks. It was like hopping around in a big sack!” says union president. Jack Bunny, the head of the American Easter Bunny Union, has officially cancelled all Easter egg deliveries this year. “We are sorry to announce this,” said Mr. Bunny. “We really tried everything to avoid this. We tried wearing standard-sized … READ MORE

Chupacabras Terrorize Suburban TULSA

RESIDENTS FEAR FOR THEIR LIVESTOCK Oklahoma residents are in a panic after reports of strange creatures known as “chupacabras” terrorizing the suburban town of Edmond. Eyewitnesses describe the beasts as having razor-sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and the ability to suck the life out of their prey. The chupacabras have been spotted attacking local farms, leaving … READ MORE

ZOMBIE DOGS ATTACK

Reports of Zombie Dogs ARE increasing in Texas! People in the small town of Millfield, a suburb of Dallas are seeing packs of snarling, undead canines. They are roaming the streets. Eyewitnesses say that over the last three weeks, the pack of dogs grew from two to over forty. At first, the authorities thought it … READ MORE

THE TAO OF THE THREE STOOGES

The Tao Te Ching and the Three Stooges may seem like an unlikely pairing, but upon closer examination, it becomes clear that these two seemingly disparate sources of wisdom have much to teach us. The Tao Te Ching, the ancient Chinese text that espouses the principles of the Tao, or the way, teaches us to … READ MORE