I’m madder than Ben Franklin with a busted kite!

Those tofu-sucking enviro-nuts are all over our (electric) TVs and (electric) computers, telling us to turn OFF the electricity for an hour on Saturday night. That’s crazy!

First off, everyone knows what happens when there’s a real blackout: nine months later, you’ve got a mess of screaming babies! But those green freaks hate overpopulation, too. These bamboo-brained hippies haven’t thought this through, as usual.

Besides, I didn’t lose a toe to frostbite on Porkchop Hill so I’d live in a U. S. of A. without lights and heat and my “America’s Most Wanted.”

So here’s my plan: find out when you’re supposed to turn the lights out, and turn them all on. You hillbillies with Christmas lights still up? For once, you did good: snap ‘em on.

Borrow the worst mileage truck you can find, lower the tire pressure, then drive to the dump and throw out all that stuff you aren’t supposed to, like bleach bottles and Styrofoam peanuts. Celebrate by going to the fast food drive through and going around and around, ordering just one item at a time! Then eat in the car and throw the litter out the window.

Go home and put the furnace on high – then turn up your air conditioning to cancel it out! Flush the toilet every hour on the hour. (This is where prostate trouble comes in real handy!) Slice up a bunch of old tires with your gassiest chainsaw, and set ‘em on fire! You won’t hear your neighbors complain cuz all your radios and TVs will be blasting.

Let those dirty hippie traitors sit in the dark this Saturday night like a bunch of commies. All us true Americans will be making them cry!

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  1. 27 March, 2009

    I would suggest that you read "Earth Hour Is A Joke" on the editorial page of today's National Post.

    Al Gore is a fear mongering demagogue who uses half truths, lies and pseudo science to advance his agenda and to proselytize those who must have a cause – any cause.

    He lives in a mansion that uses more electricity than a small town.

    He drives a gas guzzler called a Hummer.

    His numerous jet trips around the world spew much more carbon into the atmosphere than that same small town whose electricity usage he matches .

    Global warming is a natural phenomenon that occurs in cycles and is caused primarily by the sun.

    Do a little research yourself and be highly skeptical about self aggrandizing, hypocritical, demagogues and those taken in by their self serving sophistry.

    And that, David, is why, if you drive by my house during Earth Hour, you will see all my lights ablaze. That is my way of protesting the Gore deception.
    Who knows, there may even be people throwing stones at my windows.

    I challenge you to send this letter to your mailing list recipients and then let them make up their own minds.


  2. Despite speech freedom, I think this kind of reasoning (if you can called that) still shows that there are some short minded (aka retarded) people that do not believe that human kind is actually destroying the planet. What more scientific evidence (reported by American scientist) do you need?
    I guess that in a balanced world, abnormal, selfish and stupidity to its best, needs also to be present in the grid. As Dr. House would say, "imbecile".

  3. Andres says. "What more scientific evidence (reported by American scientist) do you need? "

    Perhaps, Andres, you should listen to both sides of the argument before making any judgement.
    The great preponderance of scientists, world wide, discredit Al Gore's global warming theories as just so much rubbish.

    It may be too much to ask of you but seeking out the truth might open your padlocked, neanderthal mind.


  4. Geneva: Weekly World News is THE only reliable source of information. That was plenty demonstrated by the movie "Men in Black", which was based on a true story (of course, they change the initials). We HAVE to take WWN very seriously, because the alternative is to take seriously the politicians and you where that leads to.


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