MY FAKE VIDEO ADDICT HUSBAND
Dear Dotti:
My hubby is obsessed with this new AI video generator trend that’s blowing up everywhere. He spends all day making fake videos of me dancing with aliens or wrestling Bigfoot, and now our neighbors think I’m some kind of intergalactic freak show. Last week, he generated one where I’m confessing to stealing the moon, and it went viral on TikTok under that “Ain’t Nobody Safe” nonsense. How do I unplug this digital disaster before my reputation is toast?
— Glitched in Gary
Dear Glitched: Oh honey, welcome to 2025, where everyone’s a Spielberg with a smartphone and zero sense. If your man’s turning you into a meme machine, it’s time to fight fire with pixels. Hack into his AI account (everybody’s doing it these days, it’s practically a hobby) and generate a video of HIM confessing to being a secret government lizard person who’s allergic to real work. Post it during “Uptober” when crypto bros are too busy counting their Bitcoin gains to notice. He’ll either laugh it off or short-circuit—either way, you’ll get your living room back. And if the neighbors whisper? Tell ’em it’s performance art. After all, in this AI-crazed world, reality’s optional!
I’M TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THE TRENDS
Dear Dotti:
I’m trying to keep up with these Fall 2025 fashion trends, like “Uptown Punk” and all those bright coats and corduroy pants. But I went all in on the equestrian “Stable-to-Street” look—riding boots, tailored jacket, the works—and now horses at the local farm keep following me home, thinking I’m their long-lost jockey! My kids are thrilled, but my allergies are exploding, and the HOA is threatening to fine me for turning our yard into a petting zoo. Help!
— Trotting in Trouble, Tallahassee
Dear Trotting: Sweetie, fashion’s a battlefield, and you’ve just saddled up for the wrong rodeo. These trends are meant for strutting down Fifth Avenue, not mucking stables. Ditch the horse whisperer vibe and pivot to something safer, like those cozy knits or polka dot aesthetics everyone’s pinning on Pinterest. If the ponies won’t quit, slap on some “Grunge Glam” makeup—think dark chocolate lipstick and pumpkin orange eyeshadow—to scare ’em off. As for the HOA? Bribe ’em with Crocs slippers; they’re the hot item this October, and even stuck-up neighbors can’t resist sliding into comfort. Remember, style’s about confidence, not corrals. Giddyup and get gone!
I’M BITCOIN STRESSED!
Dear Dotti:
With all this talk of altcoin season and Bitcoin dominance hitting new highs in October 2025, I dumped my life savings into some sketchy crypto called “Meme Millionaires” after seeing it trend on X. Now my portfolio’s tanking faster than a lead balloon, and my wife wants a divorce because I promised her we’d be millionaires by Halloween. The Crypto Fear & Greed Index is screaming “greed,” but I’m feeling pure panic! What do I do?
— Broke in Blockchain, Boise
Dear Broke: You crypto cowboys never learn—chasing “Uptober” highs like it’s free money from the moon. Bitcoin’s at record levels, sure, but meme coins? That’s like betting on Bat Boy to win the Derby. Cut your losses, sell that digital dust, and reinvest in something real, like a non-toxic air fryer (they’re exploding in popularity, no pun intended). Tell your wife it’s all part of the “real-world asset tokenization” narrative—turn your sob story into a lesson and maybe start a podcast. Divorces are pricey, but broke and single? That’s rock bottom. Buck up, buttercup; the market’s volatile, but so’s life. Next time, hodl your horses!
THAT DOG IS MESSING WITH ME
Dear Dotti:
I’m a Gemini, and all these October 2025 astrology predictions say good news is coming—money multiplying, new opportunities, the works. But instead, I’ve got this weird vibe where my neighbor’s dog is barking horoscopes at me, telling me to embrace “Mutable signs” energy or else. Is it the full moon in Aries messing with me, or am I losing it?
— Star-Struck in Seattle
Dear Star-Struck: Listen up, zodiac zombie: Astrology’s fun for fortune cookies, but if Fido’s yapping cosmic commands, it’s time to check if he’s been sniffing those AI agents everyone’s raving about. October’s got Pluto going direct and a new moon in Libra, sure, but that doesn’t mean your pup’s a prophet. Lock the gate, ignore the barks, and focus on manifesting that “earning potential increase” by getting a real job—not waiting for stars to align. If the dog’s persistent? Film it for TikTok’s “Elevator Scandals” trend; you’ll go viral and cash in. Planets don’t pay bills, but views do. Snap out of it! There you have it, folks—another month of madness in this trend-tornado world. Keep those letters coming; Dotti’s got the sass to sort ’em!
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