Giddy weather forecasters say a SuperBlizzard this weekend will be so big – the entire earth will be covered in snow!
Weathermen say the super-massive blizzard poised to dump up to 30 feet of snow on the Northeast will most likely spread to the rest of the country and then – for the first time in the history of the world – it will then cover the rest of the earth, bury the whole planet in up to two feet of snow.
“This is the BIG BIG BIG BIG one,” a weather forecaster told WWN. “We have been popping champagne over here for the last two days. This is the kind of storm weather forecasters live for.”
Humans across the planet are stocking up on water, food, batteries and Nutella. “Look if you are hunkered down for days – you are going to need Nutella,” said a weather forecaster for AccuWeather.
The blizzard will begin Friday morning and will last until Sunday night. Wind gusts are expected to reach up to 75 mph. In Australia, the winds could get as high as 124 mph.
Forecasters are predicting the Super Blizzard will cover even the tropics – with Hawaii, Jamaica and the Maldives expecting 1-2 feet each.
“Everybody will be affected by this. It’s doomsday. It really is,” a Weather Channel forecaster told WWN.
“This one comes along once every six billion years. We haven’t seen a Super Blizzard like this since three million years before the birth of Christ,” said another forecaster.
President Obama and the Governors of all 50 states have headed to a safe bunker in Kansas. “We can’t have our leaders snowed in. They need to be safe,” said a spokesperson for the White House.
The White House recommends that all other citizens of America, and Earth… “just stay inside and wait for President Obama to give the ‘all clear.”
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I don't mind all the ads plastered all over the page, but I am NOT clicking on a video and watching a commercial just to read an article. I started to once and it was a 2.5 minute commercial.