LOS ANGELES – Sonny Bono has been reincarnated as a dog that can read!
Sonny the Wonder Dog is a 28 year old (7 human years) dog whose owner has taught him how to read. In a video published on Sonny’s Youtube page, Sonny demonstrates his ability to answer questions by pointing to cards with the correct answers written on them. Sonny correctly answers questions such as “What’s your name?” and “What’s more fun?” where he has to choose between work and play. Of course he chooses play.
There is one answer to a question at the end of the film that is somewhat intriguing. When posed with the question “What are you?” Sonny points to the index card that reads person, as apposed to dog. His owner proceeds to praise Sonny exclaiming, “You’re a person. You’re not a doggy. You’re a person.”
The final question raised many flags for the staff at the Center for Reincarnation and Afterlife Preservation (CRAP) in Phoenix, AZ. Researchers were initially drawn to Sonny due to the fact that he could read.
“We have seen many other animals in the past that have had advanced capabilities, who we later discovered to be people reincarnated from the past. But we really hit the jackpot with this one. No one thought that we would find entertainment great Sonny Bono trapped inside this little bundle of fur,” said Randy Longfellow, lab tech at CRAP.
News of the discovery has ripple through the entertainment industry with every network vying for a shot at bringing Sonny back to primetime. Sources say that currently the UPN has the upper hand in a deal with Sonny’s owner. If everything goes as planned we should see his new show, The Sonny with Hair Comedy Hour this fall on the UPN. No word as to whether or not if his ex-wife Cher will be involved.


  1. Why would the Center for Reincarnation use CRAP as a moniker? That is why you should hire a merketing firm when you start a business. I wonder if Sonny is trying to send a message to his daughter by coming back as a dog? His daughter Chastity is getting a sex change. My friend is a jew and says the sex change operation from woman to man is a lot easier and less painful than the operation to make a man a woman.

    • I heard that the product you sell causes uncontrollable bowel discharge. I was on this diet and the product the company sold me made me do a "samoan drop" in my pants while I was watching a minor league hockey game. Be careful if you sit in section 112 in Hartford's XL Arena. Last time I was there the seat still has a stain on it. I decided I would rather be a fat guy rather than a skinny guy who has to wear a diaper.

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