GOOGLE INTRODUCES BRAIN CHIP

MOUNTAIN VIEW – Google introduced a search chip that can be implanted into human brains.
On Wednesday, the search giant, Google, introduced the Google Brain Chip.  This is a chip that users can implant in their brain that will search the internet the moment you think of something.  The chip has the power to find information even before a user knows he or she wants the information.
“It’s psychic,” said Stig Hansson, a senior hardware engineer at Google.
With the new chip, as soon as a user thinks about something the chip will immediately search the web and return a result.  For example, if you wanted to find a sushi restaurant in Chicago, you would immediately be given ten selections without ever touching a computer.  “Your friends will think you are a genius, and you are… with Google’s help,” said Hansson.
The introduction of the Google Brain Chip means that individuals will no longer need PCs, Macs or tablets. “These devices are primarily used to access the internet and download content,” said Google CEO Eric Schmidt. “With the Google Brain Chip, you don’t need to buy any hardware at all. The human brain is the hardware, we provide the chip and you are… a genius.”
Google plans on offering free download dumps with the purchase of the Google Brain Chip.  “You’ll be able to download every history book ever written.  We’ll put it on the chip and you will instantly be smarter than every history professor in the country.”  If you want to know everything about science, English literature or art, you’ll be able to download all the available data onto your Google Brain Chip.
Some fear that the Google Brain Chip will eliminate the need for the educational system.  “Why would you need to go to school and stress your brain by trying to memorize data, when you can just download it all in five minutes?  The It is true that the Google Brain Chip makes most primary, secondary, college and graduate schools obsolete.  “You can download everything there is to know about internal medicine in the morning and be seeing patients in the afternoon,” said Schmidt.  “This truly frees man from the limiting constraints of his human brain.”
To have the chip implanted in your brain, you just have to make an appointment with your local doctor or computer technician.  They will use a pneumatic gun to shoot the chip into your brain just behind your ear.  It only takes about a five seconds.
Some skeptics are worried that Google will take advantage of this chip technology and use it to control people’s minds.  Schmidt dismissed these fears and said “we’ve been controlling people’s minds for the last seven years.  It’s only a matter of time before we have a chip in every brain.”
The Google Brain Chip.    You know you want it…

28 thoughts on “GOOGLE INTRODUCES BRAIN CHIP”

  1. good idea,now all the addicts can do their thing much more efficiantly.
    by the way,this was my brain 71 years old. Not a chip.
    Reminds me,why not implant it into a chimpansy first,may be he will teach you !

    Reply
  2. People shouldn't be worried about this chip controlling their minds. Google already controls everything but I don't think they make salsa, not yet

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  3. This is true, they just haven't released this information to the public yet. These guys get it first to ease the pain and make it acceptable when it comes out.

    Reply
  4. wouldn't that be great, want or need to learn a need language, bam, there it is. Need to know something to achieve a better job, bam, there it is… that would be cool if they could really do it. Could you imagine the price. But then America would have a world of brilliant people if they just gave them out.

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    • it is real, but no tto that extent. it had a three or four page spread in, sorry cant remember the name of the magazine. but one guy has a prototype that is no where near done. but it lets him think of what he wants to search adn the results show up on his computer screen. its not beamed into his head.

  5. yeah its great, put schools outta function, and then google will control youre mind.
    Way to go schmidt (german)
    The first human robots, google will be able to know what you think and do everyday more than they do know since they keep track of all IP addys and searches. Google is mapping the planet geo wise and person wise, and they can fry your brain as well. Not a good idea at all. Stick it in someplace usefull

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    • Just think how wonder ful it would be to own a company and know that you can control exactly what information any individual has access to and be able to deny and grant access to individuals have available to them on an individual by individual basis and of course what ever whims you may have. Even God will be answerable to Schmitt.

  6. I think that there is no need to have a chip in his head, and so having free access to the Internet and informatsii.Chip? Internet? Too little to offer for such a serious step, as every man in his right mind should suggest possible posledstviya.Kompyuternye virusy.What about this : Would you like to have your personal memories or things about you very, very personal became the property YouTube

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  7. logically, useful for being able to learn lexical,static knowledge category, you dont need to put in any efforts into that to achieve it, total mind control? werent we all controlled by some sort of substance all the time since we were born? as long as you decide whether or not you want to link up to the bio/electronic network I am with it. how many people would want to dominate others by the use of this?

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  8. Thought about this quite a bit recently, obviously it's not happening quite yet, but next 20 years or so then this will be a REALITY!
    iTunes for the mind downloaded via the cloud direct to your brain, you could purchase the Surgery pack for £20,000 or master chef pack for only £10,000, or what about the financial/banking pack. We would soon have a 2 tier system of people who could afford the surgery and download packs and those that would be totally against it for religious/moral reasons or could just not afford it.
    Worries about thought control, brain damage, stealing ideas and memories would just scratch the surface as the human race transcends into a non-organic species.
    No doubt there will be movies coming out over the next decade highlighting the fears and benefits of having this technology in your mind, I need to go on a writing course, there is so much meaty material available in this subject and its coming soon to a brain near you!

    Reply
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