Americans Push to Make June 23rd
National Bat Boy Day!
Supporters Encouraged to Contact Elected Representatives
to Voice Support for a National Bat Boy Day
New York, NY – June 23, 2022 – Weekly World News (WWN) celebrates the 30 th
anniversary of its ground-breaking June 23, 1992 cover story “Bat Child Found In Cave.”
WWN introduced the half-human, half-bat child to readers around the world, and its
ongoing coverage has fostered a growing national movement to make June 23 an
official National Bat Boy holiday! Weekly World News is celebrating the anniversary with
a special tribute page.
It all started in Pendleton County, West Virginia where Dr. Ron Dillon discovered this
unique “creature,” who would become known as Bat Boy, living in a cave in the
Allegheny Mountains.
Explorers captured Bat Boy, who was living almost two miles underground. Weekly
World News’ Bat Boy reporting went “viral,” spreading faster than any news story could
in the days before the Internet and social media – it was a peaceful time.
A WILD CHILD?!
Scientists and reporters quickly learned that Bat Boy is a very skittish and elusive
creature who is frequently on the run, often disappearing for extended periods of time.
Bat Boy has been known to be quite tricky and unpredictable. He even managed to steal
a vehicle and drive it at high speed, leading to a multi-state run with law enforcement in
pursuit.
When explorers discovered Bat Boy in Hellhole Cave, they estimated his age at around
10 years old. But further research has identified a genetic deformity that has locked Bat
Boy is the very same age for the last 30 years. It seems Bat Boy will never age, however
his intelligence and global interests continue to grow.
Bat Boy has long demonstrated a keen interest in political and social issues which have
thrust him into the limelight, as he has befriended and advised a range of U.S.
Presidents and candidates for national office. Bat Boy’s political interests even led to an
unsuccessful 2020 run for the U.S. Presidency. Close advisors admit that cryptid
prejudices along with the candidate’s communications challenges and non-traditional
demeanor posed major obstacles in the campaign.
Dr. Ron Dillon, one of the foremost experts on Bat Boy, describes him as a “human-bat
hybrid creature. His father was likely a bat or a creature heavily dominated by bat
genomes, and his mother, Susan Boy, was a human being. We have since traced Susan’s
ancestry to passengers on the Mayflower.”
BAT BOY IS EVERYWHERE!
Bat Boy’s life has been nothing short of a whirlwind. Weekly World News does its best to
keep readers up to date on his comings and goings. In the years since his discovery, Bat
Boy has met Travis Scott, Elvis, Nelson Mandela, Frank Sinatra, every living U.S.
President. He is adored by most celebrities – though given his reclusive nature, very few
have been lucky enough to meet him.
In anticipation of his run for president, Bat Boy abandoned his pagan ways and
converted to Judaism and then to every other religion, seeking to play a unifying role for
all people under his “Right Wing AND Left Wing” platform. He’s also had a busy and
sometimes stormy romantic life, dating Farrah Fawcett, Jennifer Lopez, Jean
Kirkpatrick, Cher, Kim Kardashian and more recently, Taylor Swift, but never really
settling down. Bat Boy has no known offspring.
Bat Boy has become a reluctant cultural icon and national treasure, who savors hiding in
plain sight. He has been a subject in numerous TV shows and films such as The
Simpsons, American Dad, The Boys, 12 Monkeys and many others. When Bat Boy isn’t
evading the paparazzi, law enforcement or government scientists, he apparently enjoys
supporting his fans via surprise appearances in pop culture outlets.
Recently, Bat Boy was knighted by Queen Elizabeth and blessed by Pope Francis,
and there are growing rumors about another presidential run in 2024 under his healing
right-wing, left-wing messages.
SUPPORT NATIONAL BAT BOY DAY!
Leaders of the Bat Boy holiday movement urge all supporters to contact their elected
representatives to voice support for a National Holiday to honor Bat Boy and his
achievements and to demonstrate support for cryptids of all shapes and sizes.
Supporters also encourage Bat Boy-themed apparel, some of which is coincidently
available in the WWN online store! There are rumors that Bat Boy will be biking with
President Biden today, but with Bat Boy, one never really knows.
Batboy pushed President Biden over on the last bike ride they took. I was in the crowd and seen it with my own 2 eyes. Batboy was taking out his frustration of losing the 2020 election to President Biden.
I like Bat Boy as much as anyone, but I really want to know where is Ed Anger?!
According to my friend who is a top secret CIA agent. He stated “Ed Anger is presently traveling the galaxy on vacation with his pal P’lod in his UFO spaceship. Ed is pissed off having to pay $5.00 dollars for a gallon of gas.”
Once he returns he intends to give his perspective on current events. I look forward to his always optimistic articles.
I prayed to BAT Boy and he cured my genital warts! Now I am a believer!
The resemblance to Rick Scott is duly noted.
Bat boy cannot just be one thing. I’m positive Bat Boy has a family. How about some news on Bat Boy’s family for once.
Why does he have his mouth open all the time? Does he ever close it?
I’d sure like to know.