A Tennessee man searching for his “roots” went to the discount genealogy website WhoMe?.com only to be informed that he was descended from his mother.
“I already figured that out,” Timmy Dirksen from Knoxville, complained. “I wanted to go back a little farther than that.”
Dirksen complained to the company, but WhoMe? president and CEO Cliff McGraw, wasn’t sympathetic.
“What do you expect for $39? Finding out you’re the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson of Alexander the Great?
“You can’t compare us to ‘23andme’” McGraw said, referencing the well-known and more expensive genealogy site. “I mean, they got 24 people working for ‘em – it says it right there in the company name. Our outfit is just me and my wife, Rosie.”
When informed that “23andme” doesn’t refer to the number of employees the company has, McGraw shook his head. “And you’re coming after me for fraud?”
Dirksen said that with his long hair and beard, neighbors kept joking that he looked like Jesus Christ.
“After a while, I thought, ‘Hey, I should go to one of those genealogy places. Maybe I’m descended from Jesus.
“So I was pretty disappointed when the results came back and said I was descended from my mother.”
When Dirksen asked for more information, he was shut down.
“So then I asked him, ‘What about my father? Am I descended from him?’ And he said he couldn’t tell me that.”
McGraw denied that allegation. “No, no, no. What I said was ‘That information is only included with the ‘Deluxe’ package.”
When pressed for what the “Deluxe” package consists of, McGraw said, “For 65 dollars we get you booked onto ‘The Maury Povich Show.’ Maury straightens this kind of stuff out every day.”
As for Dirksen, he said he’s through with looking up his ancestry. “My momma is my whole world. So that’s all I need.”