BANANA IS DIRECT PHONE LINE TO ALIENS

When Carol Henderson made out her shopping list, she never thought it would include a communication device to another planet. But that is exactly what happened to the Ohio woman!

“When I got home from the store, I was unloading my groceries and I heard a voice. I live alone, so I thought maybe one of the cats had turned on the television and it was another of those political ads, droning on and on. But, oh my stars, was I wrong!”

Wrong indeed! As Carol searched the house, the voices led her right back to the kitchen, where the voices were emanating from none other than her grocery bag!

“As I got closer, I realized, the banana’s were talking to me! Actually, just the one with the sticker”, said the 58  year old.

Carol quickly broke the communicating banana from the bunch.  Lifting it to her ear, she said she discovered something that would knock the world as we know it off it’s axis-

WE ARE NOT ALONE!

“It was a garbled language at first and then I was able to hear it clearly as if I somehow they willed me to understand. The voice said to me, “You are not alone.” You can imagine my shock communicating with a High Ranking Nebuphazer. The voice then told me they were from the planet Nebuphase, light years ahead of Earth.”

Scientists have long believed that Earth’s inhabitants are not alone in the galaxy. From the NASA Space programs to airplane pilots, sightings of unidentified flying objects, or UFO’s have been reported for centuries. The Weekly World News itself, has researched and reported on hundreds of alien encounters. However, never before has a two way transmitter device been discovered.

“We chatted for about an hour. The alien told me  about crop circles, how they were offended by ET but felt ALF was more realistic. He also told that they have the cures for all of the diseases plaguing the world right now, but that he had hang up because he had to go charge his Tesla. Yes, I said Tesla- apparently Elon Musk is a Nebuphaser! He told me to contact NASA and  he would call me back to give them the secrets and cures, only because I had been so kind. “

The retired lunch lady, hung up the space call and immediately tried to reach out to NASA.

However, it was after 5 on a Friday and they offices were closed.

“I thought I would just call first thing on Monday morning. I was completely shaking like a leaf. Not just because of the call, but because I realized I hadn’t eaten a thing all day! My sugar was low. Without thinking, I peeled and ate the banana!”.

CAN THIS BE CONFIRMED?

With the communication fruit destroyed, NASA says they cannot speculate as to the validity one way or another of this woman’s story.

Elon Musk has not returned our calls.

And as of this reporting, Mrs. Henderson, has returned to that grocery store at least a twenty-seven times, to no avail.

2 thoughts on “BANANA IS DIRECT PHONE LINE TO ALIENS”

  1. Her Colon is now a communication device? Further, on, I think we’ve all been guilty of talking to the toilet(praying) from time to time. Was it a collect call? Thes contacts come in Bunches. More importantly, which sticker was on it? Stitch?

    Reply

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