Taken down at Jumbo’s Clown Room
Los Angeles Police arrested Holographic Axl Rose last night at Jumbo’s Clown Room in Hollywood. They were taken into custody after Axl and five others destroyed the strip-club in a rowdy bar brawl. The three-dimensional sensation faces charges of mayhem and inciting a riot. This all happened just as Guns n’ Roses are putting the finishing touches on their Appetite For Projection tour.
Authorities released the singer on bail this morning. Preparations for the tour are at a standstill as Holographic Axl awaits his hearing.
The trouble began shortly after 10 pm. It took place at this infamous Hollywood hang-out, a haven to the seedy rock and roll scene since 1970. Silver Starr, 58, a longtime performer at Jumbo’s Clown Room spoke to Weekly World News. “The night started like any other. But things got pretty wild when Holographic Axl arrived.” Starr, who sustained minor injuries in the ensuing brawl added, “He was clearly intoxicated and looking for trouble.”
Axl reportedly found the trouble he was looking for when he produced a quarter, selected “ Mr. Brownstone” on the jukebox and leaped onto the stage. Holographic Axl gyrated on stage for a few moments before security guards tackled him and threw him off stage. The enormously popular singer landed face-first on the floor and his fans immediately rushed to his defense. Fists flew, then chairs, followed by tables as terrified tootsies and grungy guests ran for cover.
Twelve people were injured in the following chaos, four seriously and Jumbo’s Clown Room sustained massive damage. Five club guests including Holographic Axl Rose were taken into custody.
APPETITE FOR PROJECTION TOUR WILL GO ON
Holograph USA founder Alki David spoke to the press just after Holographic Axl’s release on bail. He apologized for the antics of the Appetite For Projection star. “We’re just as astonished by the holograph’s behavior as you are. Our team never imagined we could nail Axl Rose’s personality. And we got all his behaviors down pat.”
David went on to say that the holograph would be fine-tuned before the launch of the tour. “We want to fix any perfections.”
Meanwhile, Jumbo’s Clown Room remains closed indefinitely for repairs. This leaves Hollywood’s young and restless looking for another fine establishment to go to for quality female entertainment. At City Hall, the District Attorney ponders whether charges can be made against a projected person. And across the globe fans wonder whether Holographic Axl’s antics will postpone the tour or even worse.