Many people suffer unhappiness because they’re trapped by the illusions of love – but you can avoid these pitfalls, say experts.
Here are eight common myths about love:
1. “All you need is love.” THat’s just an old wives’ tale, said psychiatrist Harold Bloomfield.
“To make it in the long run a couple needs to have goals and common values,” he said. “Friendship and mutual respect are very important to any relationship. Without them, love will fly out the window.”
2. You have a “once-in-a-lifetime love.” That’s simply not true, said Dr. Jean Rosenbaum, a psychiatrist, author and lecturer. “People can fall in love many, many times,” he said.
3. Some people are just “unlucky in love.” Luck has nothing to do with relationships. In fact, people who say they’re unlucky in love “continually make bad choices,” explained psychiatrist John LaWall.
4. “No-strings relationships” work. “Even if a couple beings a relationship with ‘no strings,’ sooner or later strings develop,” said Dr. Bloomfield.
5. “Fidelity is harder for a man.” Said Dr. Bloomfield: “In today’s world it’s just as easy for a woman to be unfaithful as it is for a man.”
6. “You don’t know someone until you live with them.” Not always, said Dr. Bloomfield. “YOu can live with someone for many years and still not really know them.”
7. “You’re nobody till somebody loves you.” Absolutely false, said Dr. Rosenbaum. “You must first love yourself before you can love anyone else. No one will love you in return if you don’t love yourself.”
8. “We must sacrifice for love.” Bloomfield said: “Love is supposed to make you happy.
“If one person is always sacrificing ‘for the good of the relationship,’ love can turn to bitterness. And that will make you a very lonely person.”
