Hey! Readers! If you don’t have a face, you better make your passcode 1234. And while I have your attention, don’t put your marriage to the test if you don’t want to know the results. Keep writing me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com HEADLESS! Dear Dotti, I’m headless. I’m a horseman. I can barely type this but thank … READ MORE
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE
A REDNECK VAMPIRE has been found in Alabama! Vladdy-Joe Crump says the false allegations have sucked him dry. 🩸 We interviewed his friend who defended him, we think. What did YOU hear him say in defense of Vladdy? Drop it in the comments.
A kid works the system to get his games, while the Grim Reaper quits? WHAAT? If you’re contributing to the mess that is this crazy world, send me a letter at editor@weeklyworldnews.com If you’re trying to clean it up, good luck. RENT-A-TREATER Dear Dotti, I’m eleven and I have to earn Robux any way I … READ MORE
What Is Friend Rock? A new music genre is taking over, and industry insiders say it might just save live music. It’s not indie, punk, or post-post-emo—it’s Friend Rock. How Friend Rock Works: Show Up, No Questions Asked What is Friend Rock? It’s the genre you commit to without ever hearing a song. When a … READ MORE
My dear haunted and hounded, write me if you need a good slap in the face. editor@weeklyworldnews.com TRUNK WARS? Dear Dotti, Our PTA fundraiser is TRUNK OR TREAT. Parents park their cars, throw up a few orange streamers and pass out candy from their trunk. Simple, right? Well, it’s getting out of hand! My kid’s … READ MORE
Hey you, Halloween monsters, keep haunting, we’re halfway through the best month of the year. editor@weeklyworldnews.com for all conundrums Halloween, otherwise don’t talk to me until November! BIG PHARMA SKELETONS Dear Dotti, It’s me, Pazuzu. Most souls know me from the movie I starred in, The Exorcist. Since my heyday, I’ve found a lucrative side … READ MORE
…and it’s still boring as hell in 2026 !I’m so damn happy that those overhyped 2026 World Cup soccer matches are finally wrapping up I could kiss a pig on the mouth! The only sport more boring than soccer is still tiddlywinks — and at least in tiddlywinks you’ve got a chance to score, for … READ MORE
All Hallow’s Eve draws near and with it, the end of humanity! So decorate, celebrate and don’t complain about it, whiners! Ye be warned! All unoccupied property WILL turn into a Spirit Halloween! Keep the rent nice and current…Brawhahahaha! editor@weeklyworldnews.com – if it’s a real problem, call someone who cares. If you want Dotti advice, … READ MORE
Hey Readers everywhere, Get some self-esteem. Get off the couch. And for Sasquatch’s sake, stop looking for Bigfoot. He’s right here in the pages of Weekly World News! If you have a problem, call someone who cares. Otherwise, plead for my attention at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. DOGGIE DOORS Dear Dotti, Right when I thought life had … READ MORE