Hello, darlings and deadbeats. Keep me posted on your predicaments, and you might just stay out of purgatory, eat a vegetable or two, and clean your filthy house! editor@weeklyworldnews.com ALIEN BODY-SWAP Dear Dotti, I swear this is really happening! My cheeseburger-loving, couch potato husband has been body-swapped by aliens! He came home with grocery bags … READ MORE
A REDNECK VAMPIRE has been found in Alabama! Vladdy-Joe Crump says the false allegations have sucked him dry. 🩸 We interviewed his friend who defended him, we think. What did YOU hear him say in defense of Vladdy? Drop it in the comments.
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE
What Is Friend Rock? A new music genre is taking over, and industry insiders say it might just save live music. It’s not indie, punk, or post-post-emo—it’s Friend Rock. How Friend Rock Works: Show Up, No Questions Asked What is Friend Rock? It’s the genre you commit to without ever hearing a song. When a … READ MORE
Hey Readers everywhere, Get some self-esteem. Get off the couch. And for Sasquatch’s sake, stop looking for Bigfoot. He’s right here in the pages of Weekly World News! If you have a problem, call someone who cares. Otherwise, plead for my attention at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. DOGGIE DOORS Dear Dotti, Right when I thought life had … READ MORE
Everyone, listen up. Keep boxes closed, use filters on your videos and for God’s sake, don’t go to Costco for “one thing,” your family loves you even if I don’t give a damn. Call someone who cares, but if you want someone who doesn’t – editor@weeklyworldnews.com HAIR REBEL Dear Dotti, I FINALLY found the Blockbuster … READ MORE
Hello all you Dotti fans, thanks for all the love, it melts even this old B’s heart. Now, shutup! Unless you have an inquiry about your love life, your in-laws, or your vampire ex.editor@weeklyworldnews.com THE EX-VAMP PROBLEM Dear Dotti,My ex is a vampire that won’t stop sucking me dry. I went to my school’s blooddrive … READ MORE
…and it’s still boring as hell in 2026 !I’m so damn happy that those overhyped 2026 World Cup soccer matches are finally wrapping up I could kiss a pig on the mouth! The only sport more boring than soccer is still tiddlywinks — and at least in tiddlywinks you’ve got a chance to score, for … READ MORE
To the pinheads everywhere, shut your trap! To the rest of you, write me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. WARM-UPS! Dear Dotti, My kid is on a travel baseball team and now I spend all my time in parking lots waiting for games to start. Between the uniforms, fees, equipment and hotels, I’m going broke AND driving three … READ MORE
Lost? Hopeless? Need a hug? Then call someone who cares. The rest of you, try me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com and I’ll answer if I feel like it. HOUND FROM HELL Dear Dotti, I adopted a hound from hell from a shelter minutes before they were going to send him back to Satan! Can you believe it? … READ MORE