SAN JOSE – Monday night saw the season premiere of “I’m a Celebrity… Get me Out of Here!”  Taking a chance, producers cast America’s Favorite Mutant, Bat Boy! Unfortunately NBC has edited him out of the premiere entirely, citing that his excessive mischief delayed production too much.

On “I’m a Celebrity…”, “celebrities” are flown to distant locations and compete to stay on the show.  The final celebrity left wins a generous donation to the charity of their choice and a brief extension to their 15 minutes of fame.  Among the hopeful and the desperate are Sanjaya Malakar, Janice Dickinson, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, and Rod Blagojevich’s wife Patricia.  During the filming Bat Boy caused a great deal of stress among the usually pampered would-be celebrities.

Set in the jungle of Costa Rica, Bat Boy was the only contestant who seemed comfortable in the environment.  Shooting of the first scene was delayed when Sanjaya declared a “Hair Emergency”, and spent two hours with his makeup team letting his hair adjust to the humidity.

Spencer Pratt fainted from shock the first time he saw Bat Boy, and hit his head on a rock.  Pratt, known for starring on The Hills and his creepy flesh colored beard, is hoping to establish himself as a respected artist within the Hip Hop community.  His wife, Heidi Montag, missed the entire incident as she was tweeting on her blackberry.

At the first competition Bat Boy made several enemies by easily completing an obstacle course before anyone else, then went back to cheer everyone else on.  Since Bat Boy cannot speak, all the celebrities saw was a young mutant excitedly screeching and waving his arms at them, which they mistook for intimidation.

Janice Dickinson suffered a severe trauma when in the tropical sun several of her facial augmentations began to melt.  Seeing this, the preadolescent Bat Boy screamed and ran terrified into the woods.  After five hours production assistants could not find him and filming had to go on. Upon knowing a half bat mutant found her face terrifying Dickinson began to drink more heavily than usual.

Since he went missing early on in the season NBC decided to edit footage of Bat Boy out of the show entirely.  Reports have come in of Bat Boy being sighted outside of major tourist destinations in the area, enjoying the weather and catching mosquitoes.

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  1. I wil have you know that Bat Boy is really a 45 year old dwarf bat man. My sister Bertha Butt can verify this as she is carrying his bat baby. She does plan on sueing for bat support. Yours, Brian Butt

    • Why do you tell such slanderous lies about Bat Boy? I hope he sues your ass! But then again, I doubt he will seeing as he has much more important things to do with his time than to focus on loser statements like the one you just made.

    • Toby you tell "Bat Boy" to get a job and stay away from my sister! I dont care if he is into fat chicks

  2. i love the black man he seems strong i want a date a date with him salley he is name he sexy hot why they took angella america is awhite country any way why should i ask i love how shes peacefull put her back in the show now all the way from jamaica

  3. I actually just got off the phone with bat boy and he is actually fresh out of rehab for recent coke and sex addictions.

  4. what a pair of tits Heidi & spencer WHOOOOOOOOOOOO glad they dont live in the uk cos they are nobodies, who are they anyway two rich kids who think they are some one well I am sorry they should be sent to a poor country and left to fend for themsleves, maybe the pair of them would grow up and as for Miss Plastic dont put me near a fire cos I will melt whats she doing on the show false in every way I would stick her in a room with all sorts of creepers and leave her to SCREAMMMMMMMMM OMG SHE NEEDS HELP WHAT A LAZY WOMEN SHE IS maybe all the botox has stopped her whole body from moving……….LOVE THE POLITIANS WIFE……..


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