SHAQ DANCE DISSECTED

PHOENIX, AZ – Weekly World News is proud to present dance expert Jane Alston’s explanation of Shaquille O’Neal’s interpretive dance.

At Sunday’s NBA All-Star game, officials kept with tradition by announcing each player with over-the-top fanfare. But Shaquille O’Neal took the cake, when he entered the court in a white mask, surrounded by a large dance crew called the Jabbawockeez. Accompanied by a magical keyboard song, Shaq proceeded to lay bare his heart for the world to see.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnt_RxoaNoM]

Modern dance expert Jane Alston has agreed to break down Shaq’s dance and explain what he was trying to convey:

• 0:14 – The accompanying dancers repeatedly turn toward and away from him, vacillating between curiosity and fear at his size

• 0:18 – Shaquille flexes his muscles and extends his limbs to full-length, exploring the seemingly limitless capabilities of his body

• 0:24 – Shaquille lashes out at the masses, expressing his rage at his isolation and their rejection of his physical differences

• 0:35 – The masses attempt to constrain and isolate Shaq, so that he may never fully realize his gift

• 0:44 – Shaquille finally rips away the pants of mediocrity to reveal his true destiny: become the world’s greatest ball player

• 1:02 – Shaquille has evolved and let go of his anger, instead filling the masses hearts’ with admiration and acceptance; as the dance concludes, the world is now at peace

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