WASILLA, AK – Sarah and Bristol Palin were paid 100k for appearing on the InTouch Weekly cover. Weekly World News has uncovered what they spent the money on.
Reginald Cunningham III
HEIDI MONTAG PLASTIC SURGERY
LOS ANGELES, CA – Heidi Montag has gone under ten plastic surgeries in one day. She is secretly becoming a Bionic Woman.
PAT ROBERTSON
LOS ANGELES, CA – Pat Robertson said that Haiti’s catastrophic earthquake was caused by the Devil. The Devil says, “I had nothing to do with it!”
SIMON COWELL LEAVING AMERICAN IDOL
LOS ANGELES, CA – Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol to teach Democrats how to stand up to Republicans.
SARAH PALIN ON FOX NEWS
ANCHORAGE, AK – Sarah Palin has signed on to be a Fox News correspondent. She claims her lack of credentials will help her connect to the “Real America.”
LENO VS CONAN
BURBANK, CA – Jay Leno will be moving back to 11:30pm, weeknights at NBC. He won the time slot in a bloody cage match with Conan O’Brien.
MICHAEL STEELE: 'HONEST INJUN'
WASHINGTON, DC – GOP leader Michael Steele is in trouble for using the phrase “Honest Injun”. To make up for it, he hosted a Republican Multi-Cultural Celebration.
KATE GOSSELIN'S HAIR EXTENSIONS
NEW YORK, NY – Kate Gosselin has a new look, and new hair! The reality star mom says she was protecting the environment by cultivating her extensions from her own children’s hair.
HISTORY OF YEMEN
SANA’A – Due to its role in the war on terror, Yemen has been prominent in the news. Weekly World News provides a brief history of the country for all our readers.
KANYE WEST ANNOUNCES COMEBACK
LOS ANGELES, CA – Kanye West held a press conference this week, vowing to make a musical comeback. Unfortunately he interrupted himself several times throughout the meeting.