LOS ANGELES, CA – Heidi Montag has gone under ten plastic surgeries in one day. She is secretly becoming a Bionic Woman.
Photos have been released now of a post operative Heidi Montag. On November 20, 2009, she went under at least 10 surgeries in one day to achieve physical perfection. Her hips thighs and neck were liposuctioned, botox injected, chin reduced, and breasts enlarged. But her quest for perfection didn’t stop there. The former The Hills star paid for doctors to implant robotic devices to give her bionic super powers.
Weekly World News has discovered that heiress and reality TV star Heidi Montag now has powers far beyond those of any mortal man. A team of 10 surgeons, 4 robotics specialists, and 3 auto mechanics spent 23 hours in surgery giving Montag her cosmetic updates and bionic implants.
Now the slight framed starlet is stronger than an Olylmpic weight lifter and can outrun a cheetah. Lab tests show her lifting 185 lbs with her kegels. Optical and auditory implants increase her vision and hearing ten-fold. She also has a USB port and wifi. With the enhancements complete, Heidi says, “Now I’m stronger, faster, fiercer!”
When asked what she will do with her newfound powers, Montag says she will “Be Fierce!” When asked exactly what that entails she said, “UGH! You just don’t understand!” After a mild hissy fit about how no one understands her, she continued, “I am going to so much fiercer now. Now I can spot haters or paparazzi from literally a mile away. And dress sales, forget about it. And I can hear what’s going on at the other end of the room, so I’ll always know who’s saying what and know all the gossip. How awesome is that?! And my new album is coming out soon! So the choreography for that is going to be amazing. It’s going to be better than Madonna, like the actual mother of Jesus, if she’d put on a concert. And I like don’t have to worry about getting exhausted from touring, just plug me into the wall, give me some frozen yogurt and I’m good.”
Reporters asked Montag if she would be using her super human abilities to help her fellow man. She replied, “Hey, I’m a role model! I lift people out of their boring dull lives by showing them how awesome life can be when you’re young, beautiful, rich, famous, and now super powered. That’s like a public service!”
Wow, what some people won't do to stay in the limelight. I wonder if this star who is 'so 5 minutes ago' paid WWN to do these little ditties about her? She's okay and who cares if she's made with as much plastic as Barbie? If she looks like a Barbie that's all that matters – at least according to Barrack and Michelle who say fat people are ruining the earth. Don't worry as soon as it's no longer chic to hate fat people they'll be on to a new crowd to hate – and actually it looks like they are…ugly people that can't afford surgery. So, when WILL they start executing the smokers, fat people, ugly people, childless, etc…? Why does the world have to be in THEIR vision? They're not MY gods specifically because they seem to have no souls.
A new superhero with super powers is born. Waiting for the new adventures then.
She would be nice as an addition to the fantastic four…..Plastic chick, cousin of elastic man.
horrid loner fatties shut up and get some exercise
What a STUPID BIMBO!!!! It is really funny that SHE thinks she looks better. Check into your local mental health department ASAP Heidi HO.
revlon for the win! lol Though seriously I have been considering plastic surgery 🙁
Is she evolving into a Terminator?
In this competitive world everyone want to becomes perfect and live luxurious life, for this reason such kind of surgeries take vital role……
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This contest seems new. Wish I have been there to see what it looked like.
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I would want to go abroad to have plastic surgery last year. My friend suggest me Toronto based experts plastic cosmetic surgeons.
When you think about it bionic plastic surgery could be a revolution. War veterans and people who have had maybe severe burns could benefit!
I want some exercise, to make my skin surgery in Canadian expert surgeons.
10 surgeries? is she even human anymore?
excellent issues altogether, you just won a new reader. What would you recommend about your submit that you just made some days in the past? Any sure?
yes ! It is surgery to feel confident. sometimes beauty procedure makes extra self confident in human being.