2020 IS GOING TO REPEAT!
A psychic has the bad news! Every year, Henrietta Halvorson spends December thinking about January. It’s her job—Halvorson, better known as “Ri The Magnificent,” is a popular newspaper psychic whose … READ MORE
Boyce Day
SANTA HAS COVID!
Will not affect present delivery! As COVID-19 numbers climb through the winter wave—second or third depending on who you ask—countries across the world are moving back toward lockdowns and closures. … READ MORE
CAPITALIST PIG!
Clairvoyant Swine Predicts Stocks Over the years many animals have tried their hand at the stock market. Chimps and other apes seem to be the best at it, though octopi … READ MORE
HYPNOTIZED WOMAN LANDS PLANE – SAVES HUNDREDS
TRANCED-OUT PILOT Doesn’t Remember a Thing! When Pine Airlines Flight 389 got into trouble just before it was scheduled to begin its initial descent into Detroit, the flight attendants felt … READ MORE
NEWS SCHEDULED TO END
“Enough, Already,” Says Human History By any standard, this has been a busy year: pandemic, election,natural disasters, and more. But that’s about to end. “Starting next month,” says Leanne Artrusco, … READ MORE
PUTIN SINGS!
Kremlin Releases Pop Album! In an increasingly complicated world, one thing is still true: music lifts the soul. That is why the Russian government has decided to release its first-ever … READ MORE
DOLPHIN INVENTS CORONAVIRUS VACCINE!
Science from the Sea! For months, scientists have been scrambling to develop a vaccine for the novel coronavirus that has raged across the country and the planet. “We’ve been scrambling … READ MORE
ALIENS ARE EVERYWHERE
Scientists Warn “The Invasion Already Happened!” In movies, aliens are usually depicted as humanoid creatures with smooth features and large eyes. But Howard T. Houseplant, an astronomer and parapsychologist with … READ MORE
GHOST MURDERER!
He only kills other ghosts! The world had endured some pretty grim stories that arise from the evil that men do. Serial killers have acted as judge, jury, and executioner, … READ MORE
PROFESSOR KONG CHALLENGES Ph.D APE!
Has Ph.D. Ape Met His Match! Introducing Professor Kong! But Is He Real? Ph.D. Ape, the super-intelligent primate and current campaign manager for Bat Boy’s presidential bid, was used to … READ MORE