2020 IS GOING TO REPEAT!

A psychic has the bad news! Every year, Henrietta Halvorson spends December thinking about January. It’s her job—Halvorson, better known as “Ri The Magnificent,” is a popular newspaper psychic whose … READ MORE

SANTA HAS COVID!

Will not affect present delivery! As COVID-19 numbers climb through the winter wave—second or third depending on who you ask—countries across the world are moving back toward lockdowns and closures. … READ MORE

CAPITALIST PIG!

Clairvoyant Swine Predicts Stocks Over the years many animals have tried their hand at the stock market. Chimps and other apes seem to be the best at it, though octopi … READ MORE

NEWS SCHEDULED TO END

“Enough, Already,” Says Human History By any standard, this has been a busy year: pandemic, election,natural disasters, and more. But that’s about to end. “Starting next month,” says Leanne Artrusco, … READ MORE

PUTIN SINGS!

Kremlin Releases Pop Album! In an increasingly complicated world, one thing is still true: music lifts the soul. That is why the Russian government has decided to release its first-ever … READ MORE

ALIENS ARE EVERYWHERE

Scientists Warn “The Invasion Already Happened!”  In movies, aliens are usually depicted as humanoid creatures with smooth features and large eyes. But Howard T. Houseplant, an astronomer and parapsychologist with … READ MORE

GHOST MURDERER!

He only kills other ghosts! The world had endured some pretty grim stories that arise from the evil that men do. Serial killers have acted as judge, jury, and executioner, … READ MORE

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