MIAMI, FL – One of the first cases that will come before new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is a discrimination suit.
Haitian immigrant Jacques Orneuve filed a discrimination suit against the U.S. government, claiming he was unjustly denied Social Security benefits, simply because he is a zombie!
The man says officials told him that he is dead and is therefore not eligible for government benefits. BUt Orneuve, who arrive in the U.S. from Port au Prince 15 years ago, says he has a right to collect just like anybody else.
“I’m not dead – I’m the living dead,” says Orneuve. “There’s a distinct difference. They treat me like I don’t exist.
“But the Social Security guys say their hands are tied. They sent for my records from Haiti and they show I died in 1993. On the basis of that they say they don’t owe me a dime.
“I think this is outrageous considering that I came to this country in good faith and worked hard as a laborer for more than 13 years and they took out Social Security all that time. But they say they’ve never had a zombie try to collect before and they don’t know what to do.”
According to local accounts, Orneuve lived in Haiti’s capital all his life. Records there show that he died in 1993 at the age of 51, but friends and relatives swear he was brought back as a zombie in a voodoo ceremony several days after he passed away.
Orneuve and his son were among a group of Haitians who sailed to Florida in 1994, leaving their country behind because of political tensions. The two used false papers to get work, found an apartment and became U.S. residents.
Last year after Orneuve was injured and could no longer do his job, he filed for Social Security benefits. A few weeks later he got a call from a government clerk informing him he was ineligible for assistance because he was dead.
“I understand that Americans have a fear of zombies, but that shouldn’t keep them from obeying the law,” Orneuve said. “They’re discriminating against me beacuse of my religion and my physical condition. It’s got to stop.”
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June 1st, 2009 at 12:30 am
LMAO! Orneuve just sent me an email saying he is living in Hollywood and making tons of money working in the horror movie industry! He also said the government should watch out because politicians brains are a big craving of his now!
June 1st, 2009 at 6:02 pm
This discrimination has got to stop! Will we ever see the day where living and the undead can coexist as equals?
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
I can't imagine the stress a zombie must go through to file taxes and claim dependents.
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:33 am
This would never happen in England
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:54 am
does he pay taxes?
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
This is interesting. Is the above image real??
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 am
Come on, lol, agreed with John, can't we humans and zombies live in harmony ??!!
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:49 am
keep this garbage off digg, christ.
June 2nd, 2009 at 11:07 am
what?
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:09 am
This story is dumb and would be a tad more believable if not for the amazing amount of grammar and spelling errors. I hope the writers and editors of this site are only in elementary school.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I, for one, welcome our new zombie masters.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Ok, this is the Weekly World News, it's not SUPPOSED to be believable.
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:23 pm
LOL, who gives a flip about the content on digg.
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
What's wrong with you people?! This is serious! The exponential growth in the zombie population is greater even than that of the current Islamic population growth – we must prepare ourselves now for the coming social and cultural shifts.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:12 pm
er, argh, damn kids get off my grave!
June 5th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Sotomayor is not a "new Supreme Court Justice." She is a nominee and has not yet been confirmed by the Senate. Know your facts. Also–isn't the real issue here identify theft by a Zombie?
June 9th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
hey where the ACLU their being unfair to zombies
July 4th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
This guy, Jacque "The Zombie" Orneuve, should be thrown in prison for trying to defraud the uS government. I cannot believe that the US Supreme Court will seriously hear this case.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Zombie needs big heavy Anchor to put around neck and then boat ride to middle of ocean. Then this story will go away for good.
November 24th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Zombies don't have rights!