HARTFORD, CT – Weekly World News investigators have discovered that Ann Coulter may actually be a man. The Connecticut Elections Enforcement Commission is currently making a “thorough investigation” on whether Coulter committed fraud by registering in the Nutmeg State as a woman.
WWN investigators were tipped off by Coulterwatch.com blogger Stan Butcherson. Coulter has accused Butcherson of being “crazy” and “a stalker” who is “out to destroy” her. Butcherson said “No, I just saw her in a parking lot once. She was buying nachos, and she had a huge Adam’s apple.”
Butcherson’s observation has instigated an investigation which may lead to criminal charges against the popular commentator.
The Weekly World News has uncovered the birth certificate of an Anthony B. Coulter, born December 8, 1961. Before enrolling in Cornell University, there are no records of Ann Coulter in her hometown of New Canaan, CT. However several teachers in the area remember a skinny young boy who would turn in papers citing himself as an academic source.
It is suspected that Anthony realized he wanted to live life as a woman while attending his first Grateful Dead concert in the summer before beginning college. Coulter continues to be an avid Grateful Dead fan, and their concerts are the only time strangers are permitted to look her directly in the eye.
Most recently Coulter has appeared on Fox News to criticize President Obama’s stimulus package as an economic expert, despite having no economics credentials whatsoever.
Connecticut officials are expected to make a ruling on the fraud accusations within the week.
Whether the GOP will reject her status as Arch-Bishop of Conservativism for being transgendered has yet to be seen.
I was in the men's room at a biker bar in Warwick, R.I., last weekend, and noticed the "guy" standing at the urinal to my right had long blonde hair (not unusual in a biker bar). Thinking it was Gregg Allman, I struck up a conversation. "I still enjoy your 'Live at the Fillmore' album after all these years," I said.
Much to my surprise, a woman's voice came out, and when she turned her head my way, I realized it was actually Ann Coulter. Ann Coulter, taking a whiz, not more than 3 feet away from me! But I was bummed, as I didn't have a copy of her book with to get an autograph afterwards, but I was honored nonetheless. What a small world.
BTW, she didn't wash her hands on the way out.
I was in the men's room at a biker bar in Warwick, R.I., last weekend, and noticed the "guy" standing at the urinal to my right had long blonde hair (not unusual in a biker bar). Thinking it was Gregg Allman, I struck up a conversation. "I still enjoy your 'Live at the Fillmore' album after all these years," I said.
Much to my surprise, a woman's voice came out, and when she turned her head my way, I realized it was actually Ann Coulter. Ann Coulter, taking a whiz, not more than 3 feet away from me! But I was bummed, as I didn't have a copy of her book with to get an autograph afterwards, but I was honored nonetheless. What a small world.
BTW, she didn't wash her hands on the way out.