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FLU VICTIMS PUT IN FEDERAL PRISONS
In response to the worst flu season in history, President Obama ordered flu victims be quarantined in federal prisons.
DEATH ZORB
Two Russian men died inside a deadly Russian ski ball.
SOFIA VERGARA DEPORTED
Homeland Security has deported Sofia Vergara after a number of “incidents” in Miami.
HILLARY CLINTON FACELIFT
WWN has learned that Hillary Clinton did not have a blood clot. She went into the hospital to have a facelift.
NFL TO SHUT DOWN BY 2020
The NFL announced that due to injury lawsuits and President Obama’s latest initiative, it will shut down in 2020.
OBAMA ADDS HIMSELF TO MOUNT RUSHMORE
At a press conference today, President Obama announced that he is ordering his face be placed on Mount Rushmore. President Obama said that he has issued…
SUPER HONEY CURES ALL WOUNDS!
A super honey has been produced that appears to cure all wounds and infections! The bio-engineered product Surgihoney was tested on babies, new mothers, cancer patients…
OBAMACARE COVERS CATS AND DOGS
Americans just discovered that cats and dogs are covered under the Affordable Care Act. But the pets are required to have insurance!
BIEBER TO RETIRE FROM SHOW BUSINESS
Pop star calls it quits after “tough year” in 2012!
FALLING SATELLITE HEADED FOR CAPITOL HILL!
HOUSTON – NASA predicts that the satellite falling to earth will hit Washington DC – and probably the Capitol building!
