SCIENTISTS CLONE DINOSAUR!
GAINESVILLE, FL – Scientists at the University of Florida have successfully cloned a dinosaur, a spokesman from the university said yesterday.
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BERT AND ERNIE PLAN GAY WEDDING
NEW YORK – Sesame Street is going to have a gay wedding for Bert and Ernie.
BLACKBIRDS DROPPING FROM ARKANSAS SKY
ARKANSAS – Once again, hundres of dead blackbirds are falling from the Arkansas sky – two years in a row.
ED ANGER SAYS, “I HATE ST. PATRICK’S DAY”
I’m madder than a Irishman without cabbage in his pants.
ED ANGER SAYS: I HATE THE IRISH!
I’m madder than a leprechaun with a crooked shillelagh about St. Patrick’s Day!
UNITED STATES SURRENDERS TO JAPAN
Though North Korea is the country threatening the United States, Secretary of State, John Kerry, surrendered to Japan.
TIGER CURSED
Tiger Woods lost (again) at the U.S. Open. This time he blamed his loss on a voodoo curse his ex-wife placed on him.
BILL CLINTON PORN STAR
Bill Clinton has reportedly made a porn video while in Monaco with his charitable organization.
IRAN INVENTS TIME MACHINE
An Iranian scientist has invented a time machine that goes backward and forward in time!
ALIEN BALLS IN MEXICO!
Alien balls are being found all over Mexico!
