ED ANGER SAYS: “STOP BEING GAY!”

Posted on Friday, December 4th, 2009
By Ed Anger

I’m madder a tranny who’s run out of duct tape!

Every time I turn on the TV, there’s some new fruitcake on it! And I don’t mean that two-ton brown thing full of hundred-year-old green cherries and wrapped in plastic I get from my mother-in-law every Christmas!

First some guy with makeup and funny hair kissed some other guy during some awards show. Even the kid’s dad told him it was a stupid thing to do!

Now it turns out that mom on that old show was a lezbo all along! I always thought she looked kind of butch but come on: she was married to three different guys! Were they all limp noodles? What are the odds of that?

I always said that floor-ide in the water would turn us communist, but maybe it’s making everybody a pansy instead! That sure would explain things.

I don’t mind having a few fruitcakes around. Somebody has to invent new wallpapers and play field hockey and keep U-Haul in business.

That Liberace was ok. And that lady on Maude could be funny sometimes. But too many and everything gets messed up. I can only deal with one or two of them on my television at one time.

We need to do something about this craziness. Our schools need to bring back gym and the strap. If kids do get hit with a ruler these days, it’s probably one of those Euro-weenie metric ones!

This great nation of ours needs more real, red-blooded normal American men — like Tiger Woods!


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12 Comments For This Post

  1. maria says:

    wow rlly?
    more than alf the population is gay and this is your opinion
    but saying we should be more like tiger woods is making you sound stupid. so you want us all to be liars and cheats just not gay. well i hope you know we cant stop being who we are. god made us this way for a reason. so go and talk shit but we are still going to be gay and proud!

  2. MaryMad says:

    I think this is a satire

  3. Pastor Future says:

    I'm running to the thrift store for some taffeta right now. Still got plenty of duct tape.

  4. duster says:

    Wow, Ed, looks like you struck a nerve! More proof that pansies have no sense of humor. They can dish it but not take it. And I hate their wallpaper.

    PS: U-haul?

  5. Lee says:

    Yeah, of course. A few are okay but we need to work up some sort of filter system where we let about 5% of 'em through and kill off all the rest. Gotta make sure we keep creative ones and ground the rest up for the "turkery" burgers.

    Why with the name Ed Anger? Ed Schitz seems more fitting… perhaps Ed Dumb … Eddumb… Eddie Stoopid Poop Sucky Face. I'm gonna go poop on your bed. Cause that's what Ed Poops doos.

    The one, and only, high point of your entire entry was about the lesbian who was married to 3 dudes. Never mind that she was probably brought by a piss-poor 'family' who shunned her and told her to hide her 'abnormal-ness'.

    Seriously, though: as if a bad sexual experience with a guy actually makes a woman lesbian. The entire female population would gay, Poopykins.

  6. rae4palin says:

    True, true.

  7. Bob Crespo says:

    Ed
    Thou doth protest too much. Is there something you need to get off your chest?

  8. Yagman says:

    This whole thing is nuts – Tiger Woods is a Chick ! Please Ed, don't use Tigger as a model. Why don't we have have real hero's anymore?? Like John Wayne, John Holmes, and Arnold. ( and Rock Hudson was only a hero to girlly men.)

    Someday everyone will be able to change their sex at will – once everyone has converted.

  9. anon says:

    good one…it was clearly satire.

  10. Jim says:

    Too stupid to understand when you leg is being pulled.

  11. shel says:

    lighten up gays… i mean guys.

  12. Emex says:

    I know I'm probably going to get my gay card revoked, but I laughed – sorry oversensitive activists. Yes, I know, I'm supposed to be up in arms every time someone makes an "obvious" anti-gay statement, but come on folks. It's like the race card – I'll probably have my blackness disqualified too – if you play the race card or the gay card too much, you'll just be looked at as an oversensitive whiner. So, gays and lezs, lighten up. Oh, and for the love of god, can we stop the guy-liner thing? It's kind of bugging me.

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