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LADYBUGS ATTACK!

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Millions of ladybugs attacked the Mall of America on Earth Day!

The ladybugs were released in the Minneapolis mall in an effort to protect the large amounts of the mall’s greenery, but they soon became aggressive and attacked patrons of the mall.

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 Mall of America (MOA) Senior Manager of Environmental Services Bucky Wimby told WWN that the bugs were supposed to be used as pesticides to control pests, but “they became belligerent and attacked humans.  It scared the hell out of us.”

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 Three hundred people were taken to the hospital with serious wounds – including serious flesh wounds, broken bones and lung and respiratory disease.  Five people have died.

“We are stunned.  Ladybugs are docile creatures” said Wimby, who added that ladybugs have always been friendly to humans.

The National Guard of Minnesota has taken over the Mall of America and tried to contain the vicious ladybugs, but it has proved to be a difficult operation.

“We’ve lost two infantrymen already,” said Sgt. Todd Millken.

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Some shoppers are undeterred by the ladybugs.  “There’s a sale at Victoria’ Secret and I have coupons.  I am not missing this because of a few ladybugs,” said Cindy Jangigian of St. Paul.  Jangigian was wearing a beekeepers outfit to protect herself as she shopped.