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SURVIVAL PODS

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Believers across the globe are preparing for the Mayan apocalypse.  They’re buying up Survival Pods by the thousands.

The pods are made using a fiberglass casing over a steel frame and are each equipped with oxygen tanks, food and water supplies. They also come with seat belts – essential for surviving in storms.   The head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, has approved the design of the Survival Pods.

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The United States Government is making the Survival Pads available to government workers and members of unions.

“In case the world ends, we need to have the people ready to keep the government working. And the unions will be needed to rebuild streets, bridges and… everything,”  a White House spokesperson told WWN.

The pod are shaped like oversized ping pong balls and were designed by Liu Qiyuan in Beijing.

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Vice President Joe Biden loves his Survival Pod.

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The pods are designed to carry 14 people at a time, but it’s possible for 30 people to survive inside for at least a year.  “The insulation is such that a person can live for nine months in the pod at the north or south pole without freezing,” Liu told WWN.

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Liu explained that he was inspired into making the spheres after seeing the Hollywood disaster film “2012”, which is itself inspired by the expiry of the Mayan calendar on the 21st December 2012. The Mayans were an ancient American civilization whose 5000 year old calendar shortly ends.

“If there really is some kind of apocalypse then you could say I’ve made a contribution to the survival of humanity,” said Liu.

One person sure to survive the apocalypse is Charlie Sheen.  He purchased 20 Survival Pods for himself and his “posse of Winners.”

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President Obama will be stepping into his Survival Pod on December 20th, 2012.  If the world ends, and you survive… look for his floating pod off the coast of Hawaii.