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TARVARIS JACKSON A REAL VIKING


SAVAGE, MN – The Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback has more going for him than just skills.

At the young age of just 25, Tarvaris Jackson has been playing for the Minnesota Vikings for a couple of seasons, but has yet to live up to the coach’s expectations. Some fans have begun to wonder what he really brings to the team.

Weekly World News is breaking this genetic shocker: Jackson is actually descended from vikings!

The vikings were explorers almost exclusively descended from Northern Europe, but traveled as far as Constantinople. It is believed this is where they found Erik the Brown, a skilled warrior who volunteered to join their voyage.

He was celebrated for his sprinting speed and strategy, but most scholars know him from the legendary Baltic Sea Battle, where competing viking Egill Skallagrímsson attempted to sink Erik’s boat. When a flaming wooden ball was catapulted over the water, Erik caught it with his bare hands. He then set it down on the deck and kicked it back into Egill’s boat, sinking the ship and ending the battle.

Erik’s companions were so impressed they adopted him into the Viking brotherhood.

Now, over a millenium later, Erik’s descendent has partnered with the vikings once again. Will Tarvaris be able to live up to his ancestry?

Coach Childress is reportedly starting flaming ball practices next season.