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RANCHER LASSOS FLYING COW

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East Hampton, NY — Last week, local rancher lucky stetson was working his cattle when a rogue cow set off for the hills.

“I am pretty quick with the rope, but this one wasn’t like the rest”. Moments into the pursuit, Stetson knew something was amiss. “He just took off! And by off, I mean straight up– into the sky”. Stetson was shocked to see his favorite milker take flight. She did not appear to have wings or sprout any other traditional flight mechanisms.

East Hampton Sheriff Abel Stoudebaker had this to say, “I’m not surprised. This is a second flying cow report I’ve had this week. I guess it could be tied to those UFOs we spotted down the way, but that’s just conjecture”.

At the end of the day, Stetson seemed more proud of his lasso skills than concerned with any airborne Bessies.