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STARBUCKS THROWS OUT ENGLISH PROFESSOR


NEW YORK, NY – The irony of this story is through the roof!

English professors are usually walking beacons of perfect grammar and the human incarnation of a dictionary/thesaurus. They may be incredibly book smart, but they have common sense when it comes to placing a food order. They know – as we do – that you order what you want, not what you don’t want. Well, according to Starbucks, they don’t know proper food ordering etiquette.

Lynne Rosenthal, an English professor, was ejected from an Upper West side Starbucks by cops for refusing to order according to the coffee chain’s rules, according to the New York Post.

Rosenthal, who holds a PhD from Columbia, told the paper she asked for a toasted multigrain bagel at the Starbucks on 86th Street and Columbus Avenue – she lost her cool when the attendant behind the counter asker her if she wanted butter or cheese on top.

“I just wanted a multigrain bagel,” Rosenthal told the Post, “I refused to say ‘without butter or cheese.’ When you go to Burger King, you don’t have to list the six things you don’t want.”

“Linguistically, it’s stupid, and I’m a stickler for correct English.”

Rosenthal, whose grudge against the coffee chain also extends to refusing to order by the trademark “tall” and “vent” sizes, next began yelling at the employee to hand over her plain bagel, until the manager finally called the police, according to the Post.

Starbucks employees said Rosenthal incited the face-off by throwing profanities at the individual.

“She called the barista an a-hole,” one employee told the newspaper.

Let this be a lesson to all, swallow your grammatical pride when entering a Starbucks. You have to order by sizes that are in a different language and you might have to abide the chain’s rules that linguistically have no business being rules. Despite it all, you must go in, keep your eye on the prize, and you might leave the coffee chain without a police escort.