Time was, Earth Day was just for dirty crazy hippies. You could stay away from it if you just figured out where the bad smell was coming from, then went the other way.

But now Earth Day is run by big corporations and politicians and millionaires, who want you to buy their soap that doesn’t clean stuff at twice the price, and those curly light bulbs with the poison inside them.
If I want a toilet that doesn’t flush, I’ll go back to using an outhouse – and that’s not gonna happen!
Why do the same people who want to fix the environment want to hand out free condoms at the same time – isn’t rubber bad for Planet Earth? I guess it’s ok because rubber comes from trees. They like everything “natural” – unless it’s tobacco!
I can’t keep track of all this crap. Especially the thing about passing laws against cow farts. You know what’s coming? A law against breathing! These jerks love the Earth – it’s people they hate. They say we’re overpopulated, so why don’t they kill themselves. Then we’d all be happy!
I don’t see the point of saving the polar bears anyhow. They don’t do cute tricks like seals do. If we could train them to kill terrorists or patrol the border, that would be something useful, but otherwise they just lay around getting their pictures taken.
This Earth Day, the closest I want to get to nature is the pine tree air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror of my big old truck!


  1. how bout if the polar bears think we are useless??? they can say we destroy. suck a coke. the day we were created we only made the environment worst. but now we are changing, that might be a positive sign.

  2. Funny, I absolutely luv the replies that don't like what they read. Earth Day indeed! When Mother Nature gets sick of humans effing up the world she'll merely douche us all away and start all over!
    Smoke 'em if you got 'em kids! Life's too short for hugging trees and wieners in the brown eye. Hah!

  3. hey this is so funny to me because if you relize this earth is our home if you are a lazy bum i really can laugh at you y get mad cause people want to help out our earth to make it a better place to live to me i say all those LAZY people who don't want our earth CLEAN then get the STEPPING!monique pitts

  4. These people who get all excited about "Earth Day" and related nonsense – they feel guilty about masturbation, peeping, other behavior they don't want anybody to "find out" about – so they take it out on other people to make themselves feel better.
    Religious zealots all behave the same way, their motives are so transparent

  5. I noticed some of these responses are dated back to 2009. This article is a repost. Whats the matter, Ed, nothing new to say?


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