three-armed fireman

WASHINGTON, DC – Hearings for prospective Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor were interrupted by a protester over reverse human discrimination.
Allyson Humbert had to be removed from a court room by bailiffs yesterday.  Humbert was disrupting the proceedings by waving an Anti-Mutant sign and chanting slogans to the court.
Humbert was, of course, referencing a controversial case in which several firefighters in Greenwich, CT, were denied promotions because no mutants passed the entrance exam.  Two non-mutated white males were fired from the firefighters and eventually replaced by a man with three arms, and a half-mole man.  Sotomayor’s preference against non-mutated whites is being described as racist by her detractors, Allyson Humbert among them.
When questioned Greenwich Fire Chief Andy Coleman says that the two men who were fired were not fired to make room for a minority but routinely stopping for donuts on the way to a fire, and offering up the fire truck for use in wet t-shirt contests.  “We wanted to replace these guys, that’s why we were looking for recruits in the first place!”  Coleman says that his mutant firefighters have since proved to be excellent firemen.  “Mikey 3-Arms, he’s great.  He beat the house record for busting a door down.  And Larry No-Eyes; never taken a sick day.  Not once.  I got no problem with these guys.”
Allyson Humbert fears that on the Supreme Court Sonia Sotomayor’s racism would go unchecked, with unforeseeable ramifications.  “With her on the bench, normal humans would suffer to help every possible minority.  All in the name of ‘Diversity.’  People should be treated purely on merit, and standardized test scores!  My children shouldn’t have to have extra limbs sewn on just to have a chance at college!  Beware!”  Ms. Humbert’s comments were cut off as she was then put into the back of a police cruiser.
As Sotomayor’s hearings continue further protests are planned by Ms. Humbert’s group, People to Protect People, and other Anti-Mutant discrimination groups.  Counter protests planned by Anti Mutant-discrimination groups, like the National Association for the Advancement of Mutated People and others.

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